


While We Wait / Is There Life on Mars?

by neolith



Series: How to Live (with the consequences) [2]
Category: Mass Effect
Genre: Angst, Badass Kaidan, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Destroy Ending, Earthborn (Mass Effect), Established Relationship, Fatherhood, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, Kid Fic, M/M, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Worry, mention of Aria/Nyreen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-05-15 10:03:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 20
Words: 37,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5781841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neolith/pseuds/neolith
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Adopting a five-year-old is the scariest thing Shepard has done his entire life, and he has a lot to compare with at this stage. It was frightening enough with Kaidan at his side, but then because of circumstances out of their control, Shepard has to suddenly and indefinitely handle fatherhood alone.<br/>Meanwhile, Kaidan is stuck on Mars, making an unlikely alliance.</p><p>Sequel to Shifting Blame, but trying to write it in a way so it can be read alone.</p><p>ON INDEFINITE HIATUS! Might rewrite and repost.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I imagine it's been 4 years since the Crucible fired, and maybe a year since Shifting Blame? The idea for this fic came from [the song and video Papaoutai by Stromae](https://youtu.be/oiKj0Z_Xnjc), mixed a little with my own fears of having become an uncle. There will be a parallel companion fic later (or posted simultaneously? Comment if you want that!) following Kaidan as the two will be separated for most part of the fic. 
> 
> I might not be as fast at updating this time around as I was with Shifting Blame, but I will try. Ouh, and special thanks to Evilyn777 who gave me extra incentive to work on this!

It was late evening, warm light coming in at a low angle through the window in the front door, casting a shadow of Shepard's profile into the living room area. It was still mostly an adult space, only a few remnants of the teens they fostered, now away on training camp on Mars. And then there was the odd new toy or two that Shepard didn't quite know how to wrap his head around.

He sat on the low bench opposite the shoe rack, an object in his life that was odd enough on its own. A home, a real home with no bunks for beds, covered by a roof rather than a hull and no orders waiting by a com central. Shepard had spent his entire adulthood in the military, going straight from training to service and shore leave wasted at anonymous bars as he had nowhere else to turn. All his life that had been before that, that he could remember, had been a brief time at an orphanage that hated kids, but loved profit and then running the streets in gangs. Shepard didn't know how to do this, to be domestic, to be a parent.

The teens had been fine. It was like being a commander again, only less lethal missions and more goofing around like the time at Anderson's apartment in the Citadel. For that he'd had some sort of reference, but the five-year-old being put to sleep down the hall - that was scary. He'd mess the kid up for sure, and as amazing Kaidan was, would he be able to pick up the pieces once Shepard inevitably broke the child? 

Shepard ran his hand over his scalp. He'd gotten a buzz cut again, desperately searching for familiarity. While it had felt amazing at first, a buzz cut was just a buzz cut and made no real difference. Anxiety was still eating at his gut and he could feel the kid looking at him from across the house, eyes judging, even though he knew that not to be true. Kaidan, having grown up with amazing parents, was so good with the kid, knew exactly what to do all the time, so surely the kid's eyes were closed by now, the small head drifting off and filling with good dreams. Kaidan could do that. Shepard could not. He was such a mess. For the first time in a long while he felt truly depressed that his body was too broken for him to return to service. Being a soldier was the only thing he knew.

There were soft footsteps and an even softer click of a door being shut. Then Kaidan came down the hall and into now reddish light, Shepard's shadow falling across his feet.

"Hey," he said gently, voice husky with a full day's use, and took a seat next to Shepard, wrapping his arm around the other man like it was the easiest thing in the world to comfort someone. "He'll come around."

Shepard took a deep, uneasy breath and shook his head. He wasn't sure he wanted the kid to come around. Better he fear Shepard and keep his distance, keep safe. And it felt a bit appropriate that he looked at him the way the kid in Vancouver had, afraid, distrusting, judging - even if it made Shepard recall the Catalyst later taking the kids shape, giving those eyes an entirely different sort of quality. Gosh, he was like a bullet shell, filled with traumatic memory upon traumatic memory, as explosive as any gunpowder. Any moment he could detonate, without aim. Why on earth had he believed himself able to do this?

"David's had a rough few weeks before coming here," Kaidan continued to try to sooth, but it still stung in Shepard's heart that the kid shared Anderson's name. Anderson was the closest thing Shepard had ever had to a father and now he was supposed to father a kid that had Anderson's name, if not his warm, calm eyes. The color was not all too different, but David's eyes were sad and scared, rather the opposite of Anderson's that always inspired and spurred to action rather than sunk Shepard down into the deepest depths of despair. 

"And I'm not helping," Shepard said, avoiding Kaidain's amber gaze, filled to the brim with compassion the way only his could fill and not overflow. Kaidan's hand rubbed steady circles into his back and shoulders as the undeserved encouragements continued. 

"You are," Kaidan said, then corrected, "you will. He's shy and hasn't quite accepted that he gets to stay here yet. You know, he is gonna be slow to trust us since the former family had to back out just two weeks in. Give it a little time and he'll see that we are gonna be different."

Shepard allowed himself to lean into Kaidan, taking another deep breath, trying to anchor himself into his partner's presence. Matching his breaths to Kaidan's always helped to keep him centered, to keep him present. Unlike himself, Kaidan had a pace that wasn't running fast and backwards, trying to make it back to four years prior with Reapers hanging from the sky, staring them down and pinning them in deadly light.

"I'm gonna mess up for sure," Shepard explained, dropping a hand onto Kaidan's knee and looking down onto their sock-covered toes. It was such a strange sight, Kaidan's perfectly white and new, his own a mélange grey and worn thin at the tip. No boots stained with dust, mud or often enough even blood covering them. "He's afraid of me and it's probably for the better."

There was a pause and some shifting, and it took Shepard too long to realize that Kaidan was putting in renewed effort into meeting his eyes. It was one of those moments when Shepard knew he had to give for the conversation to continue and he had to use all his strength to allow it to happen. He kept doing it, for Kaidan, but he didn't think anyone less than the Major could've gotten it out of him. Possibly Anderson, if he had resorted to making it an order, but that was different and no longer applicable, the Captain and late Admiral six feet under with too many others that surely would've handled this whole living post-war thing better than Shepard. 

Blue eyes met honey brown and there was an encouraging little quirk to Kaidan's lips, all the while his brow frowned in concern. 

"You honestly think that?" the man asked, words so soft they were barely above a whisper and their faces close enough that the Major's breaths caressed Shepard's face. That breath was somehow more intimate and more grounding than any touch. Shepard had touched the dead, but never had he felt the dead breathe so warmly on his face.  

"It's not that he's afraid of you, not as you think anyway," Kaidan continued, which was not a promising start in Shepard's book, but Kaidan didn't seem to think this was meant to discourage. "He can tell you're afraid. Kids are smarter than you think, you know, even at just five. So he's... weary of you, because he doesn't want to spook you. You're gonna have to take the first step here, John."

Shepard wasn't emotionally convinced, but he trusted Kaidan, in this like in everything these days. He nodded, took a deep breath and stretched his back. 

"Okay," he allowed, resigned. "Okay, I'll try."

They went to bed, the regular routine broken by scattered kisses. They didn't have sex, not tonight, but they shared an affirming sort of affection that Shepard found himself constantly craving since leaving the hospital. In the end they curled up, sleepy and sated, Kaidan wrapping around his back like he did every night. In Shepard's experience, couples stopped doing that after a while, but the Major kept it up with vigilance and Shepard couldn't complain, feeling safe to be held through his nightmares. 

The night was calm, until about 4.30 when the distress call from Mars reached them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It is 5AM here, but I got it in my head to post before going to bed anyway, so sorry about any misspellings or weird grammar!
> 
> EDIT: I had originally decided to write Kaidan's POV in a separate fic, but I just couldn't get the structure to work with them apart, so restructuring a bit. That means that what was originally the second half of chapter 2 is now moved and made chapter 4. Sorry about the confusion!

The distress call had been fragments, at best. It was enough to identify the teens as theirs and a presence of gun fire, but little else. About an hour later they'd been able to confirm with Alliance command that there was some sort of armed conflict taking place on Mars at the very coordinates where the teens ought to have been, but yet again a disconcerting lack of details. 

It was now near six in the morning and Shepard was itching to go grab a gun. Only he couldn't, because he wasn't going. Kaidan was darting about, quickly grabbing essentials and making mental plans in silence as they waited for his transport. Kaidan's transport, because Shepard. Wasn't. Going. 

"It should be me going," he said, and it came out more bitter than he'd wished, but it was too late to take it back now. Kaidan stopped whatever he was doing and looked at him, full attention like the world would just stop and graciously wait in the background. 

"John," he said, firmly. "You already saved the world from the Reapers. Let me handle this one. It'll be fine."

"I know you can handle it, that's not-," Shepard started, and stopped. Kaidan waited. "I can't do this. Not alone."

Kaidan then got it instantly, of course, and put the last couple of things in his hands down into his duffel bag. He pulled Shepard up from where he sat on the bed and into a tight embrace. 

"You'll do fine," Kaidan assured, but he sounded a bit sad, somehow. "You faced down the Reapers. You can manage a few days on your own with David."

Shepard scoffed. 

"My legacy is destruction, Kaidan. I don't think destruction is gonna work here."

"Okay, let me remind you, yet again, that destruction was not the key to defeating the Repears," Kaidan spoke with practiced words, because yeah, they had had this talk before and it got to be old for the other man by now. Shepard truly wished he could just believe him, wholeheartedly and then be done with it, but it wasn't that easy. He'd at least progressed to the point where he wasn't entirely crippled with self-loathing anymore, at least never for long. "Unison was how we won. You - bringing us together. If you could get Rachni, Krogans, Salarians _and_ Turians to work together, then you can handle one human kid."

"I can't head-butt him into liking me," Shepard pointed out, deadpan, earning himself a laugh and a quick kiss.

"No, but you didn't merely head-butt the galaxy together either," Kaidan pointed out like the voice of reason, stepping back into the process of packing. The distance meant he was convinced he had Shepard properly calmed regarding his fears, which was not true at all, but Shepard didn't feel like fleeing off planet anymore, so it wasn't an all imaginary success either. "You talked to them, listened, and then offered to help with their problems. You gave them your full attention and dedication until they trusted you, right? And that's how you will handle David."

"Alright," Shepard said, thinking of how the dedication he'd put into turning Mordin around regarding the genophage had ultimately gotten the Salarian killed. He doubted that was the sort of dedication David needed. 

"And, you know, you can always call my mom," Kaidan added with a smile, zipping up his duffel and tossing it over his shoulder. He wasn't in full gear yet, as his armor and most of his weapons were stored at a nearby Alliance training centre, but he was as ready as he was going to get in this house. Any minute now the shuttle would arrive to take him away. There was a pang of longing already spiking through Shepard's chest, as if the man had already left. "She's excited to be a grandma, and she'd love to help whatever way she can. Heh. I think she actually loves you more than me these days, so she'll be delighted to have the two of you to herself."

Shepard was about to answer something along the lines of ' _impossible_ ' and ' _she's far too smart to not know who the better man is_ ' when the door creaked open and David stood there, body too still and eyes blown open with some unknown fright. As if luck was out to make records in precise timing, there was the hum of a landing shuttle outside. Kaidan cast a quick glance at the windows before crouching down in front of David, opening arms and carefully pulling him in. 

"Hey, I was just coming in to say bye to you," the Major said, tiny hands fisting the fabric of his shirt as if that could prevent him from leaving. Shepard could relate to that feeling well, even if he himself was better at refraining from outright clinging, as expected of an adult and a soldier. "I have to go away for a few days, but I'll be back. You remember those other kids I talked about? The big ones."

David's face was hidden in Kaidan's chest, but Shepard could see back of his head, covered in brown curls, bobbing with a nod. 

"They need a little bit of help, so I have to go help them and then we all come back here, okay?" Kaidan continued, earning himself another nod. The man then lifted the boy and walked over to Shepard who stood rooted on the spot, unsure of what else to do. "But John is staying, so you won't be alone."

David said something, too muffled for Shepard to hear, but Kaidan must've caught it with ease as he replied:

"Yeah, he really is  _the_  Commander Shepard. So you will be safe and he won't leave you. He's loyal to a fault."

"Hey," Shepard protested because that had to be a stab at him having reluctantly worked with Cerberus after the group had returned him to the living (which was still too creepy to think about for long). If anyone else had been willing spend resources on going after the Collectors, Shepard would gladly have taken other offers, but he had been left without alternatives. 

Kaidan suddenly passed David over into his arms and both him and David seemed too surprised to protest at first, blinking stupidly as Kaidan stepped back, rearranging the duffel swung over his shoulder. His omni-tool was blinking with an alert and outside the hum of the shuttle was constant, waiting. Shepard's chest was stinging again. He hated watching Kaidan walk away. It always felt so final, even when it was not. 

"I'll be back," Kaidan said, all warm smile and apologetic frown. "I'll bring them all back."

It was a promise, but Shepard knew too well how hard a promise that was to keep. The sting in his chest turned into a rock of anxious hurt, laying cold and heavy in his chest, rattling each breath. David was tense and silent in his arms, not much unlike the rock, probably anxious and hurting as well.

"Love you," Kaidan said and Shepard had but time to respond with the same and "stay safe" before the man was gone. He stood here awkwardly for a while, kid still in his arms, before turning to the window so they could look out together, watching as Kaidan disappeared into the Alliance-marked vehicle and into the sky. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The next few days I will be busy working on financial reports stuff, which will be boring and terribly time consuming, so might be a week before I can complete the next part. Thank you for reading and for hanging in there!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I decided to restructure this fic a bit, combining Kaidan's POV with Shepard's POV as structure-wise it just fit that much better. I will post in smaller chapters and try update more frequently than I have until now. Thank you for still sticking around!

Going away on a mission had always been easy. Being ordered to stay behind had been the harder alternative, but with both Shepard and David looking at him as though he was taking something from them - that made things so very different. Kaidan put up a brave front, he had to, as the shuttle was mere steps away now and there were the teens in god knew what danger on Mars.

"Major Alenko," the shuttle pilot greeted and "lieutenant," was all Kaidan could offer in reply, never having met the pilot before. Suddenly he felt very lonely, like he hadn't felt since the months after Shepard had been spaced and died, the Normandy crew split up and divided, before he'd taken on the biotics division. Thinking of Shepard and David didn't help, sat like a hook in his chest that was painfully tugging at him to return to the house. He tried to think of the teens instead.

Four of them had eagerly agreed to leave the diner and come stay with them, taking a chance at going back to school and having as much of a normal childhood as you could have post-reaper invasion. It wasn't much like how Kaidan had grown up, a very lucky upper middle class kid, but it wasn't exactly Shepard's childhood either. It had been exciting to see how they both could or couldn't relate with the teens, both of them filling their important roles in their lives. Kaidan thought they were perhaps a little more attached to Shepard than to him (like everyone else and Kaidan didn't blame them), but Shepard had only laughed the one time he had suggested it.

"They adore you to bits," he'd assured, which was hard to argue when the teens were so enthusiastic about telling him about their day, what excited them, what made them worry or feel sad. It certainly wasn't the family situation he had imagined back when finding love had been but an idea he kept pushing aside, too busy with the next mission, but being with Shepard it seemed perfectly fitting. Kaidan wouldn't change it for the world. Wouldn't change a single one of their kids.

There was Hannah, the oldest who was no longer a kid really, already nineteen and authoritative enough to give Shepard a run for his money, despite being only half his age. She was also incredibly kind and observant and mimicked Shepard's way of leadership in a way that had the man humbled. They never spoke about that, but Kaidan could tell from the way he sometimes got introspective rather than boastful about her progress. When she convinced him to do her will, he even looked proud, making poor attempts to hide it.

Second in age was Shanti, roughly a year younger, and one day she'd make a fine adept, if she chose to go that route. She had been prepared to be sent off to biotics training camp just before the Reapers struck and some days she felt this guilt, that if she had made up her mind faster, maybe she and her parents would've been off world by the time of the invasion and maybe then they would still be alive. Kaidan and Shepard both worked on that with her, and some days they made a little progress. She seemed to take more to Liara than to either of two men though, and Kaidan only hoped it was the superior biotics skills or the archaeology that lured and not the broker business.

Second youngest was Simon, nearing his seventeenth birthday now, though no one really called him Simon anymore after that memorable day at the diner where he'd served Shepard a dish laid out too look like a hamster. "Hamster" was a nickname that had been suggested shortly after and it had efficiently stuck. Simon loved it, and Shepard never called him anything but. Kaidan had on occasions resorted to using Simon, when there was a mess left in the living room from one of his various art projects or he'd forgotten something on the stove which happened an awful lot for someone who'd worked two years in a kitchen.

Youngest was Lace and the thought of her had Kaidan double-checking his bag. In three months there would be a lab grown uterus and ovaries ready for her, but until then she was dependent on hormone therapy. Kaidan had seen enough conflict, met enough refugees to know how often people failed to bring essentials such as medicines when fleeing, even medicines that were part of your daily routine. So he brought extra, just in case, remembering her incredible relief once they had manage to get her a new, steady supply again after the war. It was just one of many things he hoped no kid would ever have to face again in the future. When she felt safe, she was a ball of energy that could rival Hamster, only she was more eager to involve others in her energy, for play or for problem solving. Admittedly, it was hard to keep up at times, but between them Kaidan thought him and Shepard did a pretty decent job.

"Another shuttle will take you to the SSV Hastings, sir," the pilot broke through his reveries, in lieu of announcement of their fast-approaching arrival at the Alliance centre. Kaidan zipped his bag, got up, holding on to the railing by the shuttle door as he waited for the vehicle to touch ground. As soon as the door slid open with a woosh, he jumped off, being greeted by more Alliance soldiers, no doubt hand-picked up Hackett himself to come along to Mars. Kaidan still felt lonely, but the hook had eased, leaving place for determination. He was bringing the teens home, every single one of them unharmed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you read chapter 2 before 2016-02-07, then you have already read what comes in chapter 4, as when I restructured that bit got moved forward a bit. Nothing has been added, or changed, just cut and pasted into a new chapter. Entirely new stuff for everyone in chapter 5!


	4. Chapter 4

That first day was awkward. Quiet. Once Shepard had set David down to make breakfast, the boy didn't seek out any type of closeness again. Shepard tried to remember Kaidan telling him to take the first step, tried to follow that advice. He'd left his place on the couch, stopped browsing through news bulletins for updates on Mars to approach David instead, where he sat aimlessly plucking with his toys. Shepard had but sat down next to David when the kid took one of the stuffed toys, a plush Elcor, and went to his bedroom. At first Shepard had not followed, taking it as unmistakable rejection, and by the time he had followed, David had put himself to bed for a nap or just to be alone, his back turned towards the door, his small chest moving a little too fast for him to be asleep yet. It was all the sign Shepard needed and he let him be, and returned to the living room in despair.

He tried to ask himself, what would Kaidan do, but the answers didn't matter in the end because Shepard wasn't Kaidan and therefore couldn't pull off the things the other man could. Mimicking Kaidan would just widen the rift between him and David, so he went back to news bulletins, still eerily empty for the most part.

David did not come out for lunch, not even when Shepard called. This rejection was beginning to hurt more than Joker's anger with him upon finding out that EDI could've been saved. Resigned, Shepard had prepared a tray and brought to David's room. Repeat at dinner. At least the food had been touched, even if not entirely finished.

 

The day after, their second day without Kaidan, Shepard woke sensing a presence in the house, like a sixth sense, that kind of gut feeling that would save you in the field when enemies snuck up on your back. On instinct, Shepard had brought out the gun he had secretly stashed at the back of his bed side table drawer, moving as silently as the predator his N7 training had taught him to be and his knee allowed. The presence was, of course, only David, up and playing quietly with his toys in the living room again. Shepard tried not to curse loudly as the adrenaline rush that had pumped steady suddenly flattened out as his body caught on to the alarm being false. Then the adrenaline spiked anew at the signal of an incoming call request sounding from the office, shrill in the early morning silence. Only trigger discipline kept Shepard from firing cryo bullets into the floor. David sat frozen in the living room nonetheless. 

Shepard darted into the office, putting the gun down onto the top shelf above the desk, and accepted the call. On the small 2D screen, he could see Kaidan, by the looks of it talking from a com system in a grounded shuttle, the redness of Mars stretching out in the background, framed by the opened side of the vehicle. Seeing the man released a surprising amount of tension and Shepard had to make an effort not to gasp with it.

"Hey," he said breathlessly instead, earning himself a pinched smile. Kaidan must've had to resort to biotics, because that was a clear sign of a migraine if he knew anything about his partner at this stage. "Give me the status report."

Kaidan actually huffed a laugh, but nothing more, then reacted to a sound off in the distance. It was subtle, but Shepard knew him well by now, knew every tick and tension in his frame. It was the kind of knowledge of someone that normally accumulated over decades, but it was amazing how fast you pick them up when you were certain it was essential knowledge for keeping them alive.

"Aye aye, commander," Kaidan made a sorry attempt at teasing him with the tone of his voice, then gave up and got all serious. "I don't know, it's a mess. A lot of people seem to have gotten abducted and... well. There's a rumor spreading, but there's something not adding up. It doesn't sound right."

Kaidan was about to elaborate, but something happened then. It was all too fast, yet happened in slow motion. A shape swept in from the side, pulling Kaidan back and out of the shuttle just at the image shook and then cut. Shepard attempted every trick he knew, even tried to emulate some he'd only snuck peaks at Liara or Tali using, but nothing could reestablish the connection. In his terrified frenzy, he didn't notice he had an audience, clambering to the door post, listening, observing.

Once he gave up on getting contact with Kaidan again, he switched tactic, calling up Alliance command instead, specifically requesting Admiral Hackett's attention. He got rejected at first, but kept jamming out requests until Hackett flickered onto the small screen that Kaidan now minutes ago had occupied. Much could've happened in minutes and Shepard hated how helpless he felt, how crippling it was to not be able to just order Joker or Cortez to take him there now, whatever it took. To not be able to strap on his gear and just go.

"Shepard," Hackett greeted, but left formalities at that and cut straight to the chase. "I assume you are calling about Mars. We don't know what's going on, but all communications are being blacked out and fast. We've lost any sort of coverage on 84% of the planet surface and we're rapidly losing what's left."

"What do you mean _any sort of coverage_?" Shepard barked out, distressed and frustrated. He needed something, anything, just any sort of sign that Kaidan was alright. And what Hackett was saying wasn't making sense. Something like that would have to be extremely organized and Mars was at large just a mish-mashed, poorly plotted refugee camp for displaced fleets at the moment, a mix of humans and aliens to return to their own clusters. There shouldn't even be a whole, connected infrastructure to organize a complete collapse of. The scraps that made up the complete network these days would be extremely difficult to completely disable at the rate and scale that Hackett was indicating.

"With _any_ I mean _all_ ," Hackett made it abundantly clear, horrifically unquestionable. "We can't even get signals from probes launched after the blackout began. Someone is going to great lengths to make sure nothing comes in or goes out from anywhere on Mars. We're sending a fleet over from Luna as we speak, but until they arrive, we have nothing."

Shepard took a deep breath, or tried to, tried to remember how to breathe rather than hyperventilate, how to focus rather than lose himself to the static of panic. Kaidan. He needed to find Kaidan. Focus on Kaidan.

"Did Major Alenko leave any report before blackout?" he asked, standing bent over, leaning his arms on the desk and resting his forehead against tightly clutched fists. He felt physically ill.

"Yes," Hackett acknowledged. "He'd rendezvoused with local Alliance soldiers and they had managed to get things temporarily under control, but witness accounts were conflicting or too unreliable to assess what actually happened. A reoccurring  suspicion was that Batarians were the original instigators. Alenko deemed this too likely to be assumptions founded in xenophobia and humanity's particular history with the Batarians to be in any way reliable. As of now, it is however still our only clue as to what is going on. It isn't impossible that xenophobia is part of this, but it is not an admission we dare make officially."

Shepard made no comment on that conclusion, although he found it sound. It did however occur to him that he probably should check in on his alien friends and allies, that Kaidan was perhaps not the only one he had to worry about. While Tali and Garrus spent most of their time space side, assisting in the repairs of the Mass Relay, they had on occasion visited Mars to meet up with other Turians and Quarians. Liara and Javik he had not a clue as to where they were.

"I'll contact you as soon as we have any other updates," Hackett promised when Shepard made no further comment. "If there was nothing else..."

Shepard straightened a bit and shook his head.

"No. Thank you Admiral. Shepard out."

He disconnected the call, took a deep breath, then went to check the log, bringing up his call with Kaidan. He fast-forwarded it to the end, paused it and checked one frame at the time, but couldn't get a clear view of the attacker at the end, so he went back to the beginning, scanning the background until he saw movement. At one point, some seconds before the end, there was a shape in the distance, visible for only four or five frames and while he couldn't get a clear view of the figure, it was definitely Batarian.

Shepard didn't know what to do with that information, so he leaned away from the desk, accidently activating play on the way. The com recording started up where it was paused, Kaidan's voice echoing " doesn't sound right" into the room and there was a thud to Shepard's right that wasn't part of the video, just before Kaidan was attacked and the video cut. On instinct Shepard reached for his gun, but thankfully withdrew in time, recognizing David by the door, his entire posture like a deer caught in the headlights. He must've jumped as the com recording hit play, hitting the door somehow with the twitch. Now the two of them stood there, staring blankly at each other, not sure how to proceed. Kaidan's advice came to mind again, to take the first step, but it was as though his feet had been shoved into concrete that had already dried around his ancles. Then David spoke.

"You're Commander Shepard, aren't you?"

The question sounded a bit unsure, definitely fragile as it were barely above a whisper. Had the house not been so empty and quiet around them, Shepard probably would not have heard what the boy said.

"Yeah," Shepard replied, surprised at how dry his throat had become, the one croaked word out rather than spoken.

"Then you have to save Kaidan," David explained as though it was a universal truth, as it should've been, but beneath Shepard his knee was already aching from standing up this short while and one of his eyes was permanently blurred, beyond complete recovery at this stage unless he received a transplant. He had a brace for the knee, a contact lens for the eye, but those were not enough to make him more than a burden if he went. He knew that and as much as he wanted to fight it, he had to be rational. Fighting a fight you couldn't possibly fight helped no one. You had to accept your limits. Like Joker could fly any ship like it was an extension of his soul, but he wouldn't even have a hand gun on him as the recoil would break his arm. Shepard may have been credited with saving the world, but if he entered the field today he would only jeopardize the mission, so he didn't. He had to trust Kaidan, put his faith in the Major, and fight for what the man had to return to. Had to take the first step.

It physically hurt, and he hobbled a bit and clenching a hand on his thigh to distract from the dull ache in his joint. David's eyes quickly darted down to his knee and up again, troubled. He must've understood that while he certainly had been Commander Shepard of the Reaper War, he wasn't much of the commander anymore, just Shepard, a crippled veteran.

He crouched in front of David, gritting his teeth as his weight on his knee bending made things even worse, then breathed out as he could relax with his good knee on the ground. Hesitantly he put a hand on David's shoulder. The shoulder was incredibly tiny, giving him second thoughts, but he remained. If Kaidan believed in him, he could do it. And he could believe in Kaidan too.

"I can't fight anymore, David," he began, and it felt like something final to say that out loud, but it was true.

"But you saved everyone," David protested, meeting his gaze head on and Shepard had to fight to not look away. "Everyone says Commander Shepard can save anyone. You're a hero."

"Not everyone. And not alone," he explained and by some miracle David stepped closer, putting a hand on his damaged knee, listening, incredibly attentive. "I had help from the entire galaxy. Kaidan included. You know, he's really strong. Stronger than me."

David raised his eyebrows in surprise and somewhere in the back of his mind, Shepard could acknowledge it was rather adorable. Mostly he just felt terrified, waiting for the other shoe to drop, for this moment to go to hell like any other and for David to withdraw, but they kept talking.

"Stronger than you?" David asked amazed, and then, "like a Krogan?"

Shepard couldn't help but laugh.

"Well, not quite, but yes, just... different kind of strong," he tried to explain in a way that made sense to a kid, and probably utterly failing. What was even strength to a kid? And had David ever even met a Krogan?

"Different how?" David demanded, suddenly all inquisitive, and the air between them was becoming more and more relaxed. It even made his knee less apparent, or maybe that was just because it finally got to rest a little, holding his balance rather than half his weight.

"Less head-butting and more biotics," Shepard explained, knowing all too well how Wrex would protest the second part of that statement, but Wrex couldn't Reave so Shepard thought he still had a point. David interpreted biotics as making things fly, which was close enough so Shepard made no effort to correct the kid on that, simply said:

"Uhuh. He's more bad-ass than Blasto." Maybe this was the type of mistake that only someone like Shepard would make, someone who had not grown up with parents to tell him that films like Blasto weren't for five-year-olds. He'd honestly at least expected the kid to have heard of Blasto. Advertising had been all over the Citadel whenever they passed through, even been talked about in the streets on Omega for crying out loud. It had to have been popular on Earth too. David merely blinked at him and asked:

"Who's Blasto?"

And then Shepard decided it was time to educate the kid. He had to know what ' _more bad-ass than Blasto_ ' meant, Shepard argued to himself as he searched for the first vid on demand on the extranet. Also, watching films together, he could do that. If parenting meant watching Blasto while eating snacks, Shepard could definately do it.

The confidence lasted for about ten minutes into the vid when the action started and David got scared, hiding his face into Shepard's side. Shepard tried to turn it off, but was stopped.

"No! He's Blasto! I know he will be okay. I can watch," David insisted, forcing himself to stare at the screen without blinking, but he was clinging to Shepard now, the way he had been clinging to Kaidan and Shepard felt a little proud. And well, he also felt a bit like a dick for essentially having used the _scare them into clinging/cuddling with a horror vid_ -trick that teenage boys used on first dates. Didn't quite seem like a good parenting method, but David, for all the clinging, looked so excited, following Blasto on the screen with adoration, even through terribly cheesy lines (which came in multitude), that Shepard didn't care for the moment.

At the end, David turned to him, eyes huge but for a change happy.

"Kaidan must be so awesome," he expressed in awe, and yes, they could completely agree on that. He was about to suggest they order some Blasto toys, because while he was at it with bad parenting that made David happy, he could just as well spoil him a bit. But then the credits ended and the screen switched over to a news report, and this time even Shepard felt scared at what he saw. The image was shaky, chaotic and there were people screaming, mixed with gunfire. The sound tuned down, but too late for the horror to not translate, and a news anchor claimed the recording was leaked from Mars. At the end, Batarians came up behind the fleeing masses and Shepard quickly cut the power.

"Is that where Kaidan is?" David asked, of course too smart to not make the connection. Shepard was about to lie, but figured he wouldn't be able to keep it up for long if he could fool the kid at all, so what was the point? Besides, he'd appreciated honesty himself.

"Yeah," he confirmed, solemnly. "But he's stronger than Blasto, remember?"

"And Blasto always makes it," David filled in, determined.

"Yes, always."

They didn't order any merchandize or toys that day, but Shepard did his best to try and distract with playful things until David took an afternoon nap. Then he went to check in with Hackett on what the hell was going on.


	5. Chapter 5

It all happened very fast, as things did when battle took you by surprise. Later, when Kaidan would evaluate his own effort and performance in the situation, he would admit in his report that he had gotten rusty over the last four years. While he was physically fit, he hadn't been as alert as he ought to have been. He was only lucky that it hadn't gotten him killed. His last minute savior, who had pulled him out of range of the blast from an incoming grenade or rocket and down into a partially protected pit in the ground, was taking point at the opposite direction, so Kaidan didn't look at them at first.

"Thanks," Kaidan said, raising his heavy pistol so he could double check the status of the thermo clip without letting the field out of sight. There was dust and rubble, some flames where there was combustible material, obscuring the view, but otherwise it looked mostly empty. Whoever or whatever had fired the explosive was either out of sight or gone by now. It hadn't been an airstrike, unless someone had acquired a very quiet shuttle, or had fired from outside the atmosphere.

There was no immediate response, just some shifting and then a deep breath.

"They're gone," said a masculine voice from not very far behind Kaidan's back. "They'll probably be back to check for bodies once the fire has cleared."

Kaidan turned and probably failed at veiling his surprise at seeing a Batarian sitting at the opposite side of the pit. The Batarian didn't holster his rifle, all four eyes continuing to sweep out over the edges of the pit, but his free hand swept down into a pocket, retrieving a small datapad. As it was held out to him, Kaidan could see a picture of himself on the screen, from a high angle. Security footage, most likely, somewhere in the Citadel judging by the background. It had to be _old_.

"That's you, isn't it?" the Batarian asked, and he seemed satisfied with Kaidan's reaction as he continued. "We've never met, not been introduced at least, but Aria informed me it would be of interest to keep you safe. You and yours."

Kaidan's heart skipped a beat at 'yours', wondering what the Batarian meant with that, but then his attention was drawn to the one given name.

"Aria, as in Omega's Aria?"

The Batarian let out a noise much like a snort and there was a scrunch in the greyish pink flesh that extended from the set of nostrils at the center of his face. He was pocketing the datapad again, seeming to relax a little, his gaze not flickering quite so much, yet keeping strict check of the horizon.

"Aria would've pointed out that Omega belongs to her and not the other way around, but you're not wrong," the Batarian answered. Kaidan had never met Aria, had never even been to Omega, but he'd heard the stories. Shepard never liked to talk much of his time with Cerberus, and that was probably in part Kaidan's own fault, but Joker would spill anything he thought made a good story and then there was Garrus of course who'd seen Omega up close in a way that not even Shepard had. Kaidan had a pretty clear picture of what type of person Aria was.

"Aria wouldn't do this out of the goodness of her heart," he pointed out, earning himself a laugh.

"If she ever had a heart, she buried it with that Turian lady," the Batarian said mysteriously, and Kaidan had a suspicion Shepard would've caught the reference. Shepard was far more involved with strange people's lives than was probably sound, especially considering what type of people Aria and those she surrounded herself with were. Still, Kaidan couldn't complain much in the given moment as that association had perhaps just saved his life, for whatever ulterior motive there was yet to be revealed.

"There is a favour to be requested, of course," the Batarian contiued. "Something that she wants from Commander Shepard."

"He can't fight anymore," Kaidan pointed out, suddenly feeling very protective of his partner, a thread of worry stringing through him, wondering if Aria had people on Earth as well. A person without a heart was not guaranteed to stick to favors, when threats could do the job just as well. The Batarian only shook his head.

"Even if he could fight, there are still five broken relays in the way," came the assurance, which was true enough that Kaidan relaxed somewhat. "I'll be honest with you. I doesn't benefit either of us to have you being so suspicious of me. Omega is in a bad place. I wouldn't have accused the Elcor of being smart, but I guess everyone has their moments. Now that the relays are down, Omega can't depend on off cluster imports and the Elcor control the vast majority of all the food production in the cluster. So, the Elcor have  safely huddled down on Thunawanuro, happily waiting while pirates, slavers and everyone on Omega slowly starve to death. Both crueler and more efficient than I'd ever expect from the Elcor."

"I can't say I'd mourn starving pirates and slavers," Kaidan admitted, because as much as he wanted to see the best in people, he also believed in justice and he didn't feel he had much mercy in him for slavers. The Batarian only shrugged at that, not too concerned with Kaidan's morals.

"You could probably extend that sentiment for the majority of the population on Omega as well," he said, very casually. "Save for all the new sprouting Vorcha babies, I doubt there is a single innocent soul on Omega. And give it a couple of years and even those tiny Vorcha will have blood on their hands. They're scum, but they are Aria's, and word from Shepard could settle an agreement between Aria and the Elcor. Food in exchange for armed escort. Omega and Elcor could also work together to repair the Omega Nebula relay."

Kaidan tried to consider it, but couldn't make up his mind easily and thus gave up. He'd never envy Shepard for having had to make all these choices, affecting so many people, so many times. A part of him wanted to spare Shepard being the one to chose again, but then he also thought of how Shepard thrived from helping out this way. Maybe Shepard would resent him for not giving him the chance of finding that miraculous solution that he so often found. Maybe this would be a way for him to achieve some further redemption from his face-down with the Catalyst. Kaidan sighed.

"I can't guarantee that Shepard will do it."

"Of course," the Batarian accepted, satisfied. He stood up now, slightly crouched and still looking, but he was clearly moving on. "I only aim to give him reason to consider it. Are you coming?"

Kaidan checked his omni-tool, tried to get a signal across to his Alliance colleagues, any potential survivors on ground or at least contact with the SSV Hastings. Testing around a bit, it soon became clear there was a very efficient jammer in place.

"These jammers are everywhere," the Batarian commented, easily figuring out what Kaidan was attempting. "We'll need to take one out eventually to make it off this rock, but before then, I know where your kids are."

Without word Kaidan got up, readying his weapon at whatever lay ahead. There was a beginning of a migraine brewing in between his eyes, but he suppressed it as best he could.

"Lead the way," he said and somehow it came out sounding more like a threat than a request. The Batarian seemed quite happy with that.

"Absolutely, _Major Alenko_." Kaidan's title and family name was heavily stressed, making a point, perhaps at the lack of introductions so far. "And you may call me Bray."

Kaidan was then offered a hand to shake, a gesture that he suspected was offered entirely for his benefit and not likely to be part of Batarian customs, so he took it, receiving a firm squeeze and shake. They then headed out, away from the blasted Alliance shuttle and leaving nothing but the wreckage and red Mars sand behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and feedback are much appreciated!


	6. Chapter 6

Door closed behind him, Shepard attempted to call Hackett from the com in the office, but the call got hijacked and a familiar blue face appeared instead.

"Liara," Shepard greeted, frustrated and impatient. "You better have news on Mars or I'm hanging up."

"I do have news on Mars," Liara placated, then added a compromising "sort of," which had Shepard reaching halfway for the control panel, promising to still hang up if this wasn't good enough. Liara got to business fast, before he got the chance to deem the call redundant.

"The leaked vids in the news," she started off and Shepard instantly retracted his hands, because that sounded like the sort of news he was looking for. He threw a quick glance over his shoulder, making sure the door was closed and even locked, in case David woke early from his nap. Liara continued.

"They are not from Mars, although someone went to great lengths to make them look like they are."

She went into an explanation of heavy editing of decades old recordings from Mindoir, but how small mistakes (like reflections in windows showing the wrong constellations, a random soldier in the back of the crowd wearing the wrong uniform etc) gave the sequence away. The original recording must've been kept secret through all this time, over 20 years by now it had to be, to be brought up and used this day. There was an immediate question to all of that information.

"Why?" Shepard asked. "Why would someone do that?"

"I think the better question to ask is who," Liara responded in a tone that indicated she had her theory of an answer already.

"Okay, who?" Shepard conceded, crossing his arms, not interested in playing this game, just wanting cold hard facts and a way to act upon them. Somewhere out there Kaidan and the teens were in god knew what sort of danger. Shepard was not playing guess three times, or twenty questions or whatever.

"Who would want humans to believe Mars is under Batarian attack?" Liara asked and Shepard was about to tell her to shove the questions and give him some answers already when it clicked.

"Cerberus?" he said in disbelief, because he was pretty certain they got rid of them before they went for the final battle on the Reapers. "We're dealing with some sort of neo-Cerberus faction?"

"The motives fit," Liara said grimly, her posture straight even as her eyes kept glancing off screen, no doubt keeping track of new information being fed to her through whatever channels she'd miraculously managed to keep up since the collapse of the relays. "But the resources, the amount of planning behind not only the faked vids, but also the attacks and the whole communications blackout. This is not just a new group imitating the old Cerberus. I'd say we have a surviving unit that never stopped working at Cerberus' agenda. This must have been planned from almost immediately after the Crucible fired, which would have demanded an already existing and functioning network."

"Shit," Shepard uttered in lack of better words. "Then what exactly is going on on Mars?"

"I'm working on that," Liara promised, typing away on something off screen, multitasking in a manner that Shepard had only seen her since she became the Shadow Broker. "I've got a contact with men on the inside, a contact who is better informed than the Alliance. I can't say more for now, but I ask you to leave this to me. You should keep an eye on Earth. Cerberus plot, or what I've assumed it is for now, seems to be working."

"An increase in xenophobia, you mean?" Shepard asked, already envisioning the rallies that could easily come to happen. Rallies that Cerberus, if this indeed was the work of Cerberus, would ensure happened. He had to get in touch with Garrus, Tali and Javik, make sure they stayed low, passing on that message to other aliens as well. "I should talk to Admiral Hackett."

Liara nodded.

"You should, but don't expect much. Alliance seems to be buying the spiel," she informed. "I'm sending some visitors your way, so be prepared for those. Liara out."

Liara cut the line before Shepard had the chance to inquire what exactly _that_ meant, and the com instantly set up to connect with the Admiral who appeared within seconds. Hackett more or less repeated Liara's report which they'd received through an _anonymous_ _source_ , also explaining he had failed to convince his colleagues that the information was reliable.

"I've managed to convince everyone to not treat it as a Batarian threat, yet, but that is the angle we are investigating," Hackett clarified, face grave and lips tight. "We've managed to reactivate a beacon in a small area which only shows us an emptied refugee camp, and there are signs of struggle. The evidence, even if planted, is looking very convincing, Shepard."

As he powered down the com, Shepard was already planning in his head how he would handle the situation, how he could use his Specter status to defy Alliance command to assure they didn't mess things up, before he caught himself. The pain in his knee made itself know, David's presence in the other room a responsibility weighing heavy in his chest. He had no choice but to trust Liara and  the Admiral, which honestly sucked, as much as he trusted them both. While they were facing the Reapers, he thought he would've loved to have taken the passenger's seat, but here he was, absolutely hating it.

"Shepard?"

The call came from the hall, filtered through the walls, feeble and scared. David. Shepard quickly unlocked the door, almost stumbling over the kid who was just outside, hair rumpled from his sleep and eyes wet. Before Shepard could figure out how to react, he had arms wrapped around his legs.

"You okay, buddy?" he asked, internally cursing himself for sounding so casual. Kaidan always asked these questions exuding empathy, not like an oaf checking up on drunk mates. David shook his head in any case and mumbled something. All Shepard could pick up was "you were gone too" which probably was information enough, enough to make him feel really bad for locking the door anyway so he bit back a groan of pain as he hoisted the kid up in his arms, the small body curling into him as if hiding within what bulk he'd managed to rebuild through rehab. Then there was the sound of the door bell ringing.

With a limping few steps, he made it up to the nearest window facing the same way as the front door, still holding David who was now clinging to his shirt. There was a thin curtain filtering out the bright afternoon sun, but as Shepard pulled it aside, it wasn't sunlight that blinded him. Outside, there was a crowd of reporters and paparazzi with cameras.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thanks for sticking around! I just got a new job which is great for me, but not as great for the fic, but I will try to write lots this weekend and schedule a few chapters. Comments are as always much appreciated! 
> 
> (Psst! There will be more Batarians, a bunch of Vorcha and maaaaaybe a Drell ahead.)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since you can't schedule chapter updates on this site you'll just get this one chapter now. Cheers!

If someone had told Kaidan ten years ago that he would have a bunch of foster kids, he would've been sceptical. Had you told him that he would team up with a bunch of Batarians and Vorcha, he would outright have laughed and explained that the Vorcha mafia encounter was really a onetime thing, just a fluke of his reckless youth. Yet here he stood, next to Bray, who was introducing him to a bunch of Batarians and Vorcha from various Omega-based gangs, stranded in the Sol System and apparently ready to help rescue a bunch of human teens. It was honestly mind-boggling.

Kaidan put in effort to memorize names and faces, but to be honest, he hadn't met enough Vorcha to learn to see much difference between them yet. He was a little better with Batarians, but only slightly, and there was a migraine aura forming in his field of vision, signaling an oncoming migraine. They were in an occupied bunker now, but getting here had not been easy. Him and Bray had travelled undetected for a good couple of hours, slowly trudging on foot in a direction that Bray was very certain of. There had only been a quiet whistling somewhere in the distance, giving them a heads-up of an incoming attack, but it had been enough to let Kaidan shield them with his biotics. Withstanding the rain of bullets had taken a lot, especially since a considerable portion of them turned out to be warp ammo, so it was little surprise that he was suffering early migraine symptoms already.

There had been a crowd of humanoid-looking, but armored assailants, nearly flanking them had they not caught the whistling. For twenty minutes they had managed to stand their ground, before the mystery attackers started gaining and Kaidan had desperately given the battle his all. Suddenly a swarm of Vorcha, the Vorcha he was now being introduced to, had surged in like lethally violent cockroaches, allowing Bray and him to catch their breaths for a moment. The group had still had to make an escape, rather than press the enemy back, which was a bit of a regret. Kaidan desperately wanted to know who they were up against, but there had been priorities to make with survival topping the list.

The aura was getting company of a steady throb behind his brow now, and there was a hint of nausea as well. Kaidan had wanted to ration his migraine medicine for desperate times, but this was turning out to be desperate enough. He politely smiled still, if pinched, as Bray explained the layout of the bunker, important details such as escape routes and hideaways. He'd give the Batarian a couple more minutes to wrap up before he had to excuse himself and go medicate. Bray then stopped mid sentence.

"Are you unwell?" he asked and damn, Kaidan thought, his poker face must be as out of practice as his battle skills. He made a curt reply, explaining the connection between his biotics and the migraines.

"Right," Bray said, recalling something. "It was mentioned in your dossier. We can cover the grounds later if you need a minute. I need to take report from our scouts anyway."

Hadn't it been for the aura, the nausea and the pain, Kaidan might have inquired about that dossier, what exactly it said about him, but he let himself be led to a secluded corner instead where he could administer the injection. There were some side effects to suffer through, as the drug spread through his body and he tried to think of soothing things as it did, thus thinking of Shepard. Shepard and David, somehow finding each other. Kaidan wanted to be there, to help, to just be parts of the small steps he was confident Shepard would make, even when the man himself lacked confidence. He wanted to at the very least be able to check in with them, but that did not seem to be a possibility. He instead took comfort in the fact that the two of them were safe. As the side effects spiked, burning underneath his skin, he focused on a mantra of their names and _they're safe_. It helped him through, even if seconds felt like minutes, but ultimately the effects passed and he could breathe a little easier again. He tried to remember what his mantra for getting through had been before Shepard, but couldn't. The meds left him feeling exhausted, but the aura was gone at least.

A few minutes later, Bray was back, a hissing Vorcha next to him.

"I'd give you more time, but there's been a development and we need to act fast," the Batarian said, stepping to the side so the Vorcha could come forward. There was more hissing and posturing than speech at first, but Kaidan tried to be patient and respectfully listen anyway. Shortly, there were words that his translator could interpret into something coherent for him.

"Enemy camp calm and quiet for two days, then haaah, one hour ago, they start fighting and running," the Vorcha explained, gesturing excitedly. Bray briefly cut in that this enemy camp is where the teens had been held, and Kaidan redoubled his focus on the Vorcha's report. "Young humans run, one biotic. Headed east. Scouts follow and I report back here."

The Vorcha made some more excited sounds, but Kaidan could only think of the mentioned young humans. If the spotted teens were indeed his teens, then at least Shanti had made an escape.

"How many were the young humans?" he demanded, refitting his gear, which was hint enough for Bray to start signalling some of the mercenaries in the bunker. Both Batarian and Vorcha geared up as Kaidan continued firing questions at the Vorcha scout. "There should've been three girls and a boy. Were all of them there? Did they look unharmed?"

The Vorcha hissed again, eyes darting to the side and his feet shifting a bit.

"Weren't close enough to smell," he answered cryptically.

"Vorcha don't have visual gender markers the way you do, so they distinguish by smell," Bray explained, while gesturing for him and the scout to walk over to a table covered with maps and reports. The scout continued his report.

"We saw three - two dark, one light."

Shanti and Lace were both out then, but unless the scout had missed anything, Hannah or Hamster were still stuck in enemy camp. Bray took over as soon as they reached the table, pointing out location of the enemy camp as well as possible destinations east of it where the escaped teens could be heading.

"How do you want to do this?" Bray asked, standing back from the table, crossing his arms. "We could take advantage of the current chaos at the enemy camp, and storm and extract the missing kid now. We have tanks that could get us there in thirty minutes, but we haven't managed to get any intel on how it looks on the inside so it is a bit of a gamble. Option two is to follow the escaped kids, hoping they have intel that could give us an advantage later. There's also the risk that the last kid will be moved in the meantime."

Kaidan's mind raced a mile a minute, trying to figure which was strategically most sound, trying to keep emotions out of it, which was incredibly hard. He ultimately fell into thinking of what Shepard would've done, but realized that the two of them had so different combat styles that what worked for Shepard might not work for him anyway. Also, as well as he knew his partner, Shepard had always found ways to surprise him on the field. Possibly Shepard would've found a third option neither he nor Bray could think of.

"Can we keep surveillance on the camp, enough to follow any vehicle or larger group that sets out, and then go help the scouts retrieving the escapees?" he suggested in the end, feeling fear clenching in his gut at the thought of leaving either Hannah or Hamster a moment later, alone, in the enemy camp, but the escaping three were still at large risk and a misinformed assault on the camp was as likely to get the remaining teen killed as it was to save them. Logically Kaidan felt this was the right choice, but reason had little sway over the heart that felt heavy with fear and responsibility. It wouldn't get in the way, Kaidan was too seasoned a soldier for that, but it didn't mean he didn't feel the worry acutely, didn't mean he didn't question his choice all the same.

Bray just nodded and started barking orders left and right, people putting helmets in place, gearing up and disappearing out onto the Martian planes. Ultimately a smaller team gathered around him, mostly Batarians (some wearing Blue Suns armor), but also a couple of Vorcha and even an odd Turian. Bray led them all out, as soon as everyone was gathered, and Kaidan was genuinely surprised at the sight he came upon.

"Are those Makos?" he asked, looking baffled at the two very familiar vehicles. They had clearly seen better days, the paint all scraped, but if they had ever faced drivers as terrible as Shepard, that level of scraping would've happened within a week. There were also some bits and pieces that seemed customized, and pieces welded on as if to cover up damages that went deeper that scrapes. Bray quickly divided the team between the two vehicles and motioned for Kaidan to follow him into the one at the front.

"We've scavenged a bit over the years," was all the explanation Bray offered, holding open the hatch for Kaidan to climb in first. The seats in the front were left for him and Bray and Bray took the driver's seat and starting the engine without checking if everyone was seated. Kaidan laughed a little nervously at all the ridiculous memories he had from the Normandy's Mako.

"Hope you're a better driver than Shepard," he commented, but feeling assured enough as the start at least was smooth, noticing that Bray slowed down even if just slightly, before bumps in the road (as opposed to gleefully speeding up as Shepard sometimes had).

"He can't be worse than a four-year-old Vorcha," the Batarian countered, with a twitch at the corner of his mouth. "We prohibited any Vorcha under age ten to even take lessons after that."

They chatted a bit during the journey which was a welcome distraction from all the worrying, Bray being surprisingly talkative for what Kaidan had expected of a Batarian. They talked about what had happened since the Reaper war, what it had been like on Mars with all the aliens stuck, unable to go home. Vorchas had probably been the first to adapt, their bodies adapting physically within weeks and culturally and emotionally quickly just going along with it, accepting that many of them were never leaving the Sol System alive. They had also more than quadrupled in population since the war, reproducing perhaps faster than usual with no war killing them off. Everyone else seemed a little less keen to go on just as usual but it had been four years now, and still nothing more than com-systems repaired at the Mass Relay. Some settling down was beginning to happen, but those individuals apparently tended to apply for transfer to Earth rather than remain on this "red dust pile", as Bray called it.

Roughly twenty-five minutes into the trip, there was a flare set off on the horizon, somewhere to their left. It was followed by a series of flashes from a strong lamp, and Bray went silent, slowing down as he focused on the lights. It went on just so for a couple of minutes, and then Bray altered his course slightly to line up with the lights.

"The kids have stopped at a location ahead," Bray explained, speeding up again. "The scouts have them surrounded."

"They are aware the teens are not a target, right?" Kaidan said as a joke, but then Bray slowed down, reaching for a switch, flipping it a few times while a flash went off above them. Then he started driving again.

"Now they know," Bray said, and Kaidan felt a little nervous about how trustworthy these scouts were. They journeyed in silence for another fifteen minutes before a large refugee camp came into view.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question - would you be opposed to following the teens for a little bit...? I feel it might be a bit indulgent of me to give my OCs that much attention, but I think Kaidan will look much more awesome in their eyes than in his own, and I really want to give him a BAMF moment.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am suuuuper tired from my new job and I think I might even be catching a flue, so I've been super tired writing this chapter, ahahaha. Apologies for any typos or wonky sentences! 
> 
> This chapter follows the teens for a while, but there is a surprise canon character thrown in there! Enjoy!

There were aliens of every imaginable species at the camps, but mostly they were human and from what had happened over the last few days, Hannah didn't trust any of them. Ultimately they would have to trust someone, but they couldn't afford to go in blind. They hid in the shade of one of the thousands of barracks lined up in the camp and Shanti removed her helmet, taking weary breaths. The air in the terraformed domes wasn't quite as on Earth, much too dry and a little lower in oxygen even with generators. The three of them had ran constantly over the Mars deserts until they made it here, but only after fighting their way out. It was a miracle that any of them had managed to escape, but Hannah was pissed. Hamster was supposed to be here, not her, that was the plan.

"I hate boys," she muttered, angrily, so no one but Lace and Shanti could hear. The plan that Hannah had formulated had involved using one of them as a decoy and that one had been supposed to be her, but the plan had gone awry when they'd encountered guards much earlier than they'd expected and Hamster had figuratively thrown himself into the fire, drawing attention away and getting himself caught again. It was stupid and so terribly boyish that Hannah refused to concede even to herself that it was the reason why they had managed to escape relatively unscathed at all. She worried about Hamster, though. Worried terribly. She continued to mutter to herself.   
  
Next to her Lace looked a little shell shocked still while Shanti turned pleading eyes on her.

"I need to eat," she said, desperation tingeing her voice. "I could eat for five people right now. I could eat a horse!"

Kaidan had warned that using biotics burned a lot of calories and Shanti being terribly inexperienced probably overtaxed herself with really simple techniques. She'd shielded a bit, tripped a guy and tried to topple a mech before Hannah had dragged them all out. Hannah tried to not think of what she herself had done to get them this far.

"Okay, priorities," she said, steeling herself. "We should find a better place to hide, then I'll find us food." Quickly she scouted around the corners to find a discrete street. Before heading out though, she noted Lace's silence which was unusually prolonged enough to be reason for concern. Lace's gaze was wide, but locked on the ground. Hannah nudged the girl, shook her shoulders. Lace's curls bobbed around her face, but she looked up through long lashes, meeting Hannah's grey eyes finally.

"We'll get home, all of us, but we have to stay alert until then, okay?" Hannah tried to encourage, trying to channel the sense of safety that she always got from being around Shepard, tried to be half the leader he was. "We can do this. Shepard could defeat the reapers, so the very least we can do is save Hamster and then get back to Earth, okay?"

Lace didn't seem entirely convinced, but she nodded once at least and Hannah accepted she had to settle with that for now.

"I'll just check the vicinity real quick. Stay here and try to remain unnoticed. I'll be back in a heart beat."

Lace and Shanti both nodded, so Hannah darted off, searching through the barracks until she spotted a large storage building with doors wide open. Upon closer inspection she found it near empty and clearly not supervised. Inside there were a few crates that they could easily hide behind. If they were lucky, there was also food in there. For now, that would be good enough. Hannah sneaked back, pausing a couple of times to avoid being seen by other humans, in case any of them were in league with their original captors, and then helped her foster sisters to the hide out. It all went easily enough, until Shanti started going through the contents of the crates, finding something that looked like a protein bar.

"Thank fuck," Shanti let out with a sigh of relief, ripping the package open.

"Don't eat that. It will poison you."

The voice was unfamiliar, masculine, and scared the hell out of all three of them. There was a reptile-like (but not Salarian) person standing in the shadows, who they had somehow failed to see. Hannah had a hand resting on top of the gun strapped to her thigh, but she made no move to draw it yet. Instincts could save you, but Shepard had driller her hard on how you could make grave mistakes if you weren't in control of them. The alien wasn't acting like a threat, at least not yet, so there was time yet to figure him out.

"It's made for Turians. Very bad for humans," the alien explained, blinking his big black eyes at them. "I'm sorry I frightened you, but you really shouldn't be here. Restricted area."

The alien pointed at a sign that confirmed what he had just said. Then Shanti send pleas at him.

"Do you have anything that I can eat? I'm seriously starving!"

The alien was silent for a bit, looking at a doorway to his right. He then went into the adjacent room, coming back with a handful of bars, similar-looking but packaged in red wrapping rather than the blue foil of the Turian bar.

"These are appropriate for humans," he promised, handing them to Shanti who ripped a package open and ate without pause. "Though I recommend getting use to the new rations fast. We still lack off-planet communication, so no telling when the next import will arrive."

"What?" Hannah asked, confused as having been isolated from the rest of the world for the past few days, the teens were entirely unaware of the communications blackout. There was no time for the alien to explain however. There was a large boom outside, followed by the smatter of guns and rifles going off at multiple places in the distance. Instincts got the better of Hannah this time and the gun was in her hands before she knew it. The alien looked at her briefly, then went back into the adjacent room, returning with a weapon of his own, although he did not look too comfortable holding it. Shanti groaned and the sound she made was absolutely distraught.

"I can't do this any longer," she complained, quickly swallowing down a couple of bites from a second bar. "I'm not good enough. I should've practised more, I should've-"

"It's not your fault," Hannah cut in, dragging the girl to her feet, which wasn't all easy as Shanti had little strength left in her limbs. "It's not your responsibility. Leave it to me."

Lace at least got up on her own, her eyes jumping fast between the alien, the other two girls and wherever the sound of violence was coming from. There seemed to be two directions, west and south-west, but the ruckus was merging together into one large mess. _Leave it to me_ were words easy enough to say, but Hannah really had no plan for how to act on them.

"Someone's after you?" asked the alien, and while none of the girls answered, they probably didn't have too, the way they frightfully stared at him at the question telling on its own. "I know an escape route, out of the camps. Not many know it because not many of us handle supplies before they are stored."

There was another boom, larger and heavier than the rest, the tremor of it felt in the ground beneath them. This was escalating beyond the size of the skirmish when they'd first been kidnapped. When the alien moved out, Hannah made the other two follow, taking point at the back. They made it a couple of blocks before the alien had them hunker down inside another storage building. Seconds later, there was a mass of thuds from feet falling on the dirt just outside, a large group of people rushing by.

"Why are you helping us," Hannah asked quietly, wanting to understand the stranger's motives. Shanti was resting heavily against her and there were shorter hairs that had escaped Hannah's ponytail, now clinging to her damp forehead. Outside the noise of battle was following them, getting closer again now that they had stopped. The alien was looking out through a small gap in the back door. He closed it again, turning to meet Hannah's querying eyes, only he wasn't really looking at her. He mumbled a series of words, brief statements and Hannah could only catch a few of them, picking up descriptions of fear, running, chaos and then there was something that sounded like an act of sacrifice. The rant stopped and Hannah didn't know how to fill the silence, had no clue what any of that was or meant. It clearly bothered the alien, who looked down, crestfallen.

"I'm sorry," the alien said, quietly. "Drell remember very vividly. I was helped many times by your kind, and I recalled one time especially. I want to return the favour, somehow. I think humans say _pay it forward_?"

Hannah only nodded and Lace looked up, seeming interested in the present for the first time in quite a while, which was more of a relief than Hannah managed to register at the moment. The alien - the _Drell_ \- took a deep breath and peaked through the door again. The coast must've been clear because without a word, he waved for them to follow and then quickly slipped out.

They ran past a couple of more buildings and then there was a tall wire mesh fence, blocking off what looked like a trench. There was a gate in the fence, and the Drell approached it, shifting his gun to his left hand while activating an omni-tool. It took a few tense seconds, but ultimately the gate allowed him access and he ushered all of them inside. It was just Hannah left when a human militia came out of nowhere, noticing the fleeing group of four almost instantly. Their armour were embellished the same symbol as the teenager's previous captors so Hannah didn't hesitate to raise her weapon. She fired several shots, many of them hitting and she felt a sense of heavy dread as one of the pursuing men went down, but kept going as any good soldier would, thinking of the three younger teens, the need to save them. Behind her the Drell was shoving Shanti and Lace into the trench before raising his own weapon. Before he could fire however, someone else fired from the opposite direction. One guy froze, literarily froze, while the remaining three turned in time to see a mass of blue light that slightly warped the air hit one of them dead center in the chest. More bullets followed, the frozen body shattering, which had Hannah as terrified as she was fascinated, and then Lace was clinging onto the fence, shouting.

"KAIDAN!"

The figure was barely recognizable as the kind man they knew from home, who loved beer, cardigans and was frivolous with hugs. This looked nothing like the patient tutor who corrected her stance during target practice, who encouraged her not to neglect subjects like mathematics and English because of her physical aptitude. It certainly looked nothing like the man that held Shepard through hard times, always gentle and enduring through the worst of it.

He was in combat gear, a heavy pistol shifting between targets with exact, but fast precision and there was a sheen of blue covering all of him. Even his amber eyes shone blue and Hannah found herself feeling a little afraid for a second, before immense relief washed over because as different as he looked, it was still without doubt Kaidan. Kind, caring, protective Kaidan and that meant that for the first time in days, they actually had a fair chance.

There was one last militia man, charging towards the Major, firing cryo ammo that set flames licking against Kaidan's biotic barrier and then Kaidan managed to sidestep the assailant, push him into the ground and fire a bullet into the back of his head. As much as it was impressive, it was awfully brutal and Hannah actually cringed for a second, before relief won over. Lace had already escaped the trench, having climbed the fence and jumped over rather than shoving past the Drell and Hannah, running into Kaidan's arms. Shanti sat sunk down in the trench, crying, and also occasionally laughing relieved little laughs that drowned in the sobs. Hannah, not knowing how to react, stood at attention the way Shepard had taught her and gave report.

"Me, Lace and Shanti accounted for, but we left Hamster at enemy camp," she exclaimed, trying not to sound as distressed as she felt. "That was roughly three hours ago and at the time he was unharmed, but we parted under duress. I don't know for sure what happened to-"

She cut herself off, unable to continue, the dread returning along with incredible shame. A good leader would've gotten the entire squad out. Next thing she knew, there was a heavy, large hand on her shoulder, pulling her in.

"We're getting him out," Kaidan said, voice as gentle and comforting as back home. If she closed her eyes, Hannah could almost imagine them back in their house, the hum of the coffee machine in the kitchen, echoes of some random vid from the living room, Shepard's hitching steps. "I promise."

And Hannah believed him, genuinely relaxing for the first time in days, fighting back the tears or else she'd end up joining Shanti. There was still the sound of battle somewhere off in the background, reminding her to not relax too much.

Then the Drell stepped forward, eliciting unmasked surprise from Kaidan.

"Kolyat?" he asked, letting up on the embrace he had locked both Hannah and Lace in. The two men stepped up to each other and the Drell nodded in greeting, referring to Kaidan as "Specter Alenko." Hannah's curiosity was spiked and she could tell Lace's was too, but there was no time for questions as the battle drew closer to them again. A Batarian joined them, another alien who seemed acquainted with Kaidan, and they were escorted to a couple of tanks. Shanti and Lace hopped in first, while Kaidan held Hannah back. He looked her in the eyes, his irises once again amber and kind, concern etched on his face.

"Whatever you did, you did in self defense," he said, just as astute as Hannah had secretly feared and she held her breath for whatever he would say next, but he gently pulled some hair out of her face and then squeezed her shoulder. "I know it's not easy, and it takes time to get over, but that is a good thing. Taking a life shouldn't be easy, but I still want you to know I understand, and that I would most likely have done the same in your spot. I dare say I even have. When things have calmed down, maybe we can share and compare experiences."

Hannah hid her face and nodded. Kaidan didn't climb in first, but he stepped away, giving her the space she needed to collect herself again and then followed closely behind as soon as she was ready. Much later they would have a long talk about this day, but for now, this was enough. 

Now they were rescuing Hamster. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully I'm getting a few more chapters up this weekend as I intend to take part in the [ME Big Bang](http://mebigbang.tumblr.com/). It would be nice to finish this fic before that, or else I'll have to do some parallel writing!

Shepard stood in the kitchen, preparing sandwiches and not reflecting over how the kitchen was too large to be theirs, having features of the Normandy SR-2s crew deck spliced into the real design and the view being of the Benning slums rather than the Earthly cityscape that usually decorated the horizon. There was the sound of the teens laughing and goofing around in the living room, together with Jack throwing out her foulest language at them, all in good spirit. He thought he could hear Anderson as well, but it might have been just a trick, because the next moment he heard Hackett instead, speaking on the radio, asking people to stay calm and not jump to conclusions, trying to convince everyone that the Alliance had the situation under control.  

A couple of arms wrapped around Shepard's waist, a nose nuzzling into his neck, drawing a breath and Shepard couldn't help but note he felt amazing - safe. One of the arms wrapped around him came forward, suddenly holding a bottle of hot sauce, pouring some on one of the sandwiches.

"Isn't that how you like it?" Kaidan asked and Shepard had to laugh, because that was rather weird yet sort of considerate at the same time. He turned around in Kaidan's arms, set on kissing him, but Kaidan backed off, holding up a finger as if to say _'give me a minute'_.

Kaidan never got a minute because there was a horrendous roar, the scraping, mechanical cry of a Reaper and suddenly half the building was torn off, ripping Kaidan away in the same sweep. The view was no longer Benning, but London at its worst, just before the end. Thick smoke was billowing up between ruins, Reapers crawling all over the remains and husks that looked like members of the original Normandy crew started crawling up into the hole left by the missing section of the kitchen. They all had eyes like the Illusive Man's.

Shepard wanted to run after Kaidan, to fight his way through the husks if there was even a glimpse of hope saving his partner, but the familiar faces gave him pause, made him freeze against his will and his body became sluggish, near immobile while the rest of the world continued around him. He tried to move, to scream, but it was as if his vocal cords were cut and his limbs disconnected from his command. He pulled and pushed his body for all he was worth, in any direction that gave way even the slightest and ultimately he managed to turn around, coming face to face with the Catalyst kid. Everything happened in an slow motion from there, but Shepard still couldn't move. The kid opened his mouth, and there was a red beam, like the ones from the Reapers and it surged across the kitchen floor, towards Shepard, who was unable to evade, standing there paralyzed as the beam came closer, obliterating everything in its path.

The room started morphing. Shepard himself started morphing until he was no longer standing, but slouching on the couch. He felt his muscles give again and he pushed and pushed as hard as he could. His voice also started coming back, and the room tilted. The red beam flickered and went out, the Catalyst kid changing shape and colors slightly, solidifying into David standing small and scared in the doorway. Shepard managed to stop his scream in the last second, the force dissolving to a pained groan instead. His heart was beating hard in his chest and he could hear his pulse drumming away in his ears, feeling the blood surging out into his extremities and back.

David stood still and silent to the sounds of the news broadcast that Shepard must've fallen asleep to, and the sound of the former Commander's fast breaths. Shepard swallowed a few times in attempt to slow his breathing, raising a hand to massage his chest, imagining it helped regulate his heart rate.

"We came here to humanity's aid, and this is the thanks we get?" a Volus rasped on screen, speaking to a reporter. There was a blurb at the bottom of the screen, listing xenophobic protests around the Sol System. It was officially happening, the way Liara had predicted. The camera tilted slightly to an Elcor standing behind the Volus.

"Troubled observation. Humans seem to want us gone, but we can't leave. We are stuck in Local Cluster because we helped save humans from the Reapers. Cynical question. What happened to solidarity and allegiance?"

The news segment switched to protesters, expressing fear and contempt over alien allies at large and Shepard hurried to switch the screen off. David remained by the door, still as a statue until Shepard stood and waved him over with an exhausted motion of his hand. The kid carefully approached him and climbed into his arms. As they came up to the door to David's room, a tiny voice asked if he could sleep in Shepard's and Kaidan's bed. Shepard hesitated briefly, trying to think it over but his brain was just too tired.

"Just this once," he muttered in reply, and took the kid along into the master bedroom. He plopped David down onto the covers and the kid, with but a moment's hesitation, crawled down under them on Kaidan's side. Shepard got settled too and considered brushing his fingers through the boy's soft, brown tresses, but his hand was shaking now from the dissipating adrenaline rush so he refrained. David then reached out, wrapping his tiny hand around Shepard's, looking up with big eyes.

"Kaidan said it's good to hold hands after a nightmare," said the kid, proving himself just as astute as Kaidan had said him to be. Shepard felt a stab of worry at that, still remembering how Kaidan had been ripped away from him in the dream, and how he'd been rather similarly ripped away in real life when last they'd spoken. Of course, there were no Reapers now and probably... hopeful whatever had pulled him away was far less lethal. He tried to remember what a capable man the Major and Spectre was. The dread of course remained no matter what optimistic reasoning Shepard cast at it, no matter how rational it was. As much as he could, he focused on David instead as he was here, present, and possible to do something about.

"Kaidan is a very wise man," he spoke, as gently as he could through short breaths. He felt small trembles all the way through his body as the adrenaline burned out and tried to stay awake even though he felt incredibly tired. He couldn't fall back asleep, as he would probably fall straight back into another nightmare if he nodded off now. He feared what could happen when he had David next to him on the bed, if he didn't manage to restrain the impulses the dreams so often urged him into. He was fairly in control of his instincts, but he didn't trust himself to have the same restraint when only partially conscious, especially not around a child. It was bad enough that he'd accidentally kicked Kaidan out of bed once.

David didn't seem like he was intent on sleeping any time soon either, staring wide-eyed up at Shepard, so Shepard met his gaze and started talking, about anything that was good. The very first thing that came to mind was how he and Kaidan first became romantically involved, as conspicuously pragmatical an occasion it had been. He had honestly no clue if anything he was saying made sense to a five-year-old but David hung on to every word, not asking questions really, but not looking bored or interrupting him either.

"I guess it was terribly unromantic, but we were two guys who didn't really have any identity outside of the military at the time," Shepard concluded that rather awkward story. It had been a bit awkward back then too, only Shepard had been too happy to truly notice at the time, very much drowning in the buzz of emotions, of feeling anything but alone under too big a burden for the first time since... well, since he had first been considered for the position of Spectre, to be honest. As Shepard drifted off in a spiral of memories, David finally spoke up.

"What is romantic?"

"That is a very good question," was the only thing Shepard could think to say at first. "I guess... flowers are considered romantic?"

He nearly cringed at that, not because he minded flowers really, but it was such a terrible stereotype and Kaidan and him had never bothered with such things. He wouldn't say their relationship was lacking in romance, not as far as he was concerned at least, but it was another thing to ask him to pinpoint exactly what it was between them that was romantic. Shepard truly did not understand those things and he wondered if even Kaidan did. The man's idea of a date was bacon, steak and beer for crying out loud, which was merely a sports game short of stereotypical night with the guys.

"But you don't have any flowers," David pointed out, scrunching his nose up slightly in confusion. There were a few plants in the house, all of them succulents and none of them ever blooming.

"Well, we had some, once, but they sort of died," Shepard explained, honestly, a tad bit embarrassed. Mrs Alenko had been baffled that neither of them could keep a plant alive when Shepard had no problem maintaining a huge aquarium. "Plants were never my thing. If it doesn't move, I will kind of forget about it. That's why fish are more my thing. And hamsters."

David's entire face lit up.

"You have a hamster?" he asked because of course a kid would get excited about a potential hamster. Shepard knew then and there he was getting another space hamster. A baby one this time, with all its life span ahead of itself. He didn't even want to imagine David crying over a dead pet.

"No, not at the moment," Shepard replied, then corrected himself. "Or well, I have a big Hamster, but he's not as cute as a real hamster."

David blinked owlishly, as he sometimes did, and Shepard had yet to figure out if he did that in wonder or in perplexity.

"Don't tell him I said that, by the way, he'll be heartbroken" Shepard added, feeling fond thinking of the teens, at the same time trying not to choke on the returning worry. "He thinks he's very cute. Especially when he's pulled a prank on you, or done something he's not supposed to."

They talked a little more about hamsters (both real hamsters and Simon) and soon David was asleep, leaving Shepard alone with his thoughts and fears. David lay there as an anchor, keeping him from checking the vid com in the office, or the front lawn where paparazzi had remained stationed the entire evening. Tomorrow he had to face them, more than just calling cops on them (that had only worked for about half an hour and the third time Shepard hadn't had the heart to call the police over again. Surely they had better things to do). For now he tried to breathe and remember how it was to sleep without nightmares, but all he could think of was Kaidan as he was wrenched out of view just before the line cut.


	10. Chapter 10

Kaidan looked out, troubled, at the long shadows cast by the Mako across the red sand. As clever as the kids were, it still had taken long to map out the enemy grounds to great enough detail that they could actually make any proper strategies based on the information. Now the sun was already touching the Martian horizon. While one of the Makos was equipped with proper night cameras, aside from that they didn't have much to give them advantage in a night raid, and Kaidan didn't want to bet on the other team being more poorly equipped than them. This was not a trial run in training camp and there was at least one civilian on the line. Kaidan didn't need the personal connection to the hostage in question to feel uneasy about the situation. On the other hand, there was a risk of the enemy using the cover of night to move Hamster out of the compromised premises.

"Bray," Kaidan turned to the Batarian, trying to keep his voice down so the teenage girls resting in the corner wouldn't hear. They were exhausted and worried, understandably, and Kaidan didn't want to make them feel any worse. While Hannah was nineteen, they were all kids in his eyes and should be kept out, kept safe. "What would you do?"

Bray stepped close, catching on to Kaidan's desire for secrecy with ease, replying in a low voice.

"From what I've seen, I don't think we have until morning," Bray admitted, confirming Kaidan's fears. "Using the cover of night is going to do us little good, but at this stage I'd say we have little choice. We're going to lose people."

Kaidan steeled himself, waiting for Bray to say that him and the members of his team would not sign up for such a mission. Kaidan, as much as he wanted to give everything in order to save Hamster, felt horrible at the mere thought of asking as much, even though the team consisted mostly of what he assumed were members of various Omega gangs.  If they were unlucky, most of them might not even make the front gates of the place, much less in and also back.

"Aria's orders were to save the kids at any cost," Bray said instead, looking seriously down at the hastily scribbled floor plan they'd drawn up from the girls' descriptions. "Until we get any counter orders, that is what we'll do."

Kaidan wanted to protest, but couldn't, feeling the words getting stuck in his throat. It shamed him, made him feel selfish, but Hamster was just that much more important to him than a bunch of Vorcha and Batarian mercenaries. It was not a pretty side of himself, not one he particularly liked, but it wouldn't change so he only expressed gratitude instead.

"Thank you."

Bray smiled, looking up briefly.

"It's a kid," he said, plainly. "I understand. You do a lot for kids."

They set about making a strategy that was as adaptable as possible for what they might be up against, trying to make the best use of the darkness of night as they could. With no moon to light up the sky and the stars too weak to do more than create beautiful patterns up above, it quickly got very dark outside. The two men had their heads bent down together, muttering various suggestions to each other, trying to gauge all possible resistance, when Kolyat and Lace appreached them.

"Spectre Alenko," the Drell spoke to draw their attention, motioning Lace forward. She held a pipe that she was moving back and forth between her hands, looking up at Kaidan through her lashes, nervously biting her lip. "There's something you should see."

Kaidan turned away from the table, giving his full attention to the Drell and the girl. Lace then kicked together some of the sand dragged into the bunker and drew a symbol in the small pile. Both Kaidan and Bray stared at it in recognition.

"That's Cerberus, isn't it?" Kolyat asked, probably recognizing it from the terrorist groups invasion on the Citadel.

"Your kidnappers wore this symbol?" Kaidan asked, not bothering to confirm Kolyat's question. The Drell's tone of voice had strongly indicated he didn't need the confirmation anyway. Lace nodded. "All of them?"

Lace nodded once more.

"On their vehicles, mechs and equipment too," she elaborated, and Kaidan felt a sense of calm settle over him. Bray also looked a little less crestfallen, standing tall and meeting Kaidan's gaze.

"Who wants payback for Omega?" Bray called, turning away from the humans and the Drell, receiving an excited cheer. Kaidan smiled encouragingly at Lace who seemed confused, but peaked up at the reaction from the mercenaries, catching on that this was something good. This didn't mean they would win the fight, their odds were still poor, but Kaidan didn't tell the teen that. Instead he drilled them on what type of Cerberus mercenaries and soldiers they'd encountered during their escape, trying to mentally map out exactly what they were up against. Behind him Bray called for everyone with any biotic skills to take the front, ordering anyone trained with a sniper to take point and for infiltrators to carry excess medigel. Kaidan didn't even need to listen to the details to understand the strategy. Ramming the base with a Vanguard front. Up against Cerberus, they would definitely be seen from miles away, so full force on one spot was their best option, as terribly risqué a strategy it was.

Once Kaidan had drilled Lace with all the extra questions he had, now that he knew to ask them, he asked Kolyat to stay and guard the teens. The Drell agreed, without question, but with a half salute he must've picked up from C-sec during his community service. The two walked away to a safe corner and Kaidan joined the mercenaries, gearing up. Hannah then stepped forward, wrapped in bits and pieces of complete gear,  checking her gun with a determined face.

"You're not going," Kaidan said immediately and firmly. "One day in the future maybe, you'll be the one in command, running these sorts of ops, but today you are a civilian and civilians stay put."

The protest was right there, on the tip of Hannah's tongue, Kaidan could tell, but something held her back. The girl took deep breaths through her nose, glaring up, gaze unwavering at him, trying to stare him into yielding, but it wouldn't work. She must've realized after a minute or so, because her entire body relaxed and she backed off a little.

"I wanna help," she said, nearly whimpered, looking sadly out towards the Makos where Bray was already lining up his crew. Her hand was slightly trembling though, and Kaidan remembered how she'd looked when he'd finally found them. Haunted the way new recruits looked after their first real mission. She was not ready to head out again, even if she'd had training and experience enough to help her survive this mission. He gave her another assignment instead.

"Look after Shanti and Lace," he ordered. "I don't trust Bray's guys enough. Kolyat is trustworthy, so keep him around and keep an eye open on everyone else. No matter what they look like, all of this lot has mafia affiliation, understand me?"

Hannah's posture grew a little again.

"Yes, sir! Understood, sir," she said, confidently, scouting the area discreetly but methodically like they'd taught her as she returned to the other youngsters. Taking comfort in the sight, Kaidan steeled himself, focusing on the one kid left as he put on his helmet and stepped out into the night.

 

Not far above them Alliance ships lay in orbit, still without reliable intel on what was happening at surface level, planning raids on Batarian-rich refugee camps.


	11. Chapter 11

Rain was gently tapping on the windows, making a tuneless rhythm that hit an occasional crescendo every time a gust of wind struck against the façade. The only light was that of the lamp illuminating up the street outside, strips of the gleam leaking through the drawn curtains, leaving Shepard mostly in darkness.

After staring up the ceiling for three hours, he'd given up on sleep and carefully extracted himself from the bed, leaving David deeply asleep, all nestled up in Kaidan's duvet. For a while the boy's soft snoring had filled the silence, but now the silence was deafening and it was driving Shepard crazy. Perhaps this was what Tali had felt like, travelling on the Normandy, the engines so much quieter than she was used to. Shepard was used to nights of nightmares, be they his own, Kaidan's or any of the kids';  but what followed was always quiet talks, never unbroken silence. This night was too empty, save for David, but he could hardly turn to a small child for support.

Shepard activated his omnitool, checking the time in Vancouver. It was a little past 9PM. Late, but not too late.

Before he changed his mind, he quietly slipped into the office, leaving a small gap in the door this time, and set the vid com to call Mrs Alenko, who answered on the forth ring. She spoke in a hushed, gentle voice.

"I was wondering when you'd call," she said, concern rather than the usual smile in her eyes. She had to feel the concern for Kaidan as keenly as Shepard did, especially with the news channels reporting the way they did. "Kaidan warned me that you are surprisingly terrible at asking for help, whenever it's not military assets you're asking for."

"Sorry," Shepard choked out, overwhelmed at those words. He shut his eyes tightly, took a couple of deep breaths, reigning his emotions in a bit. With a final exhale, he opened his eyes again, trying to speak anew. "Didn't want to bother you. I'm sorry I'm calling so late and all."

"Oh, John," Mrs Alenko said, exasperated and emotive at once, yet preserving her calm and quiet as if respectful of the early hour on Shepard's end. "You are never, ever a bother. I'll always be happy to hear from you, no matter what time you call. We're family now and this is what family means."

She smiled now, hands clasped together on the desk before her, having this encouraging look about her and Shepard had to take a few deep breaths again, breathing in and out through his nose while biting his tongue. Mrs Alenko waiting, giving him the time he needed and he couldn't even express how much he appreciated that. It was strange to have access to another parental figure in his life. When Anderson died, he'd thought that was it, the only sort of parent he'd had gone for good and forever, which he'd accepted, just the way he'd accepted that firing the Crucible would result in his own death.

Only he'd lived. And he was here, with a family, and a woman who wanted him to at least call her by first name, Mrs Alenko apparently being too formal, and it was a little too much. Not in a bad way, but all that Shepard was feeling was a complicated mess that he had yet to properly untangle. Making this call though, he realized, had been like finding one of the endings of the yarn - a place to start.

"I couldn't sleep," he admitted. "Too much on my mind."

They talked a little for a while, or rather Shepard talked and Mrs Alenko graciously validated all his concerns without adding fuel to the fire. It was evident she'd been in the same place, possibly many times before it was final, with the late Mr Alenko. Shepard felt an all new-found admiration for the strength of her, for having pulled through and survived being widowed with such grace. Shepard felt that losing Kaidan would be the absolute end of him, would leave him little more than shambles to be scraped off the floor. He expressed as much to Mrs Alenko.

"Until it's definite, nothing is certain," she spoke, carefully choosing her words. "And it is impossible to tell how you will feel and react, if such a day should arrive that it is definite. So there is no point in imagining it in advance. Unless such a day truly comes, let's not think of it."

"Yeah," Shepard conceded, pausing for a while, not knowing how to continue. He looked to the window, where the rain was still smattering away. He tried to project a void in the corner of his mind where he pictured Kaidan returning home in a casket. The void only distorted into more disturbing images, but at least they were less terrifyingly realistic. He closed his mind to the horror and tried to entirely alter the track of his thoughts, not wanting to hit rock bottom in that particular section of his head.

"I don't know what kept them away before, but paparazzi suddenly found this place."

"I thought the house looked familiar," Mrs Alenko said, voice trailing off a bit. Shepard waited, expectantly, noticing how her eyes swept over lines of what most likely was text, just off screen. Satisfied, she leaned back a little. "John, since you're not asking, I am offering - do you want me there?"

Shepard hesitated, running through a myriad of reasons as to why he should decline. Mrs Alenko's words were still fresh at the forefront of his mind, that he wasn't a bother, and thus he steeled himself and nodded.

"Then I got to run, because I can still catch the midnight flight," Mrs Alenko concluded, almost cheerfully, touching a couple of commands and getting up. "See you in a few hours, John."

She signed off and Shepard felt relieved, warm all over, mixed with apprehension. The tangle simultaneously grew and untangled a few more inches of yarn. He grabbed a sweater, one of Kaidan's warm and fluffy ones, slipped it on and returned to the bedroom. David was still out like a light and Shepard lay down next to him, on top of the covers as he did not expect to fall back asleep any time soon. It had been barely fifteen minutes though when his eyelids closed, his breathing slowed and his mind went blissfully still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter because I work double shift tomorrow and morning shift Monday, so I need to get some quality rest now. Up next is a shitload of action so want to take my time writing that properly, so it's both exciting and easy to follow. So see you hopefully in a week with some badass Kaidan and Bray! Comments are as always very much loved!!


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that this chapter took so long! I have way too much going on in my life atm. HUGE thanks to Salbro for the lovely comments and everyone for the kudos! It's truly helped motivate me, even though I have been so exhausted I have fallen asleep mid-sentence while writing at times.

Things started going awry about three quarters to their destination. Since there wasn't enough room for everyone inside the Makos, they'd shuttled everyone in groups past the halfway point and were now marching the last bit. As Kaidan's armor had an exoskeleton built in, helping him not tire as quickly, he'd offered to walk. Moving also helped keep his blood pumping, helped him stay as awake and alert as he wanted to be. He was looking firmly ahead until he noticed a shimmer in the sky. It swept across the vault so quickly that you could've blinked and missed it.

"Did you see that?" Kaidan called to Bray who walked slightly ahead and a few meters to the right, where he was visible to both the drivers in the Makos and the groups on foot.

"Yes," Bray confirmed, slowing his pace and tilting his head back. There was no trace of the shimmer any more, but there was also a slightly different hue to the visible stars. The Batarian stopped entirely, halting the troops and then activated an omnitool. "Check your com, Alenko!"

Kaidan did, trying to hail anyone who would listen.

"This is Major Alenko of Systems Alliance Marines. Is anybody out there?"

For a moment where Kaidan held his breath, he was only met by silence, but then there was a very confused response.

"Hello?" someone with an accent spoke, clearly civilian from the greeting. "Are you on Ma-"

The sky sparked again and whatever line they'd had was once more completely cut off. The stars looked about the same color as before the opening, and Kaidan figured that that was it for now. He looked to Bray again, but the Batarian only shook his head.

"Come on everyone, we continue as planned," he ordered, his deep voice resonating across the planes and the gang members all moved out again a little twitchier than before.

Twitchy was bad when staging a rescue mission, Kaidan thought, but didn't speak up. There was still another twenty to thirty minutes of the march left until they arrived, and hopefully they would all have walked it off by then. Even Kaidan himself was distracted, thoughts on the opening in the com, why it had happened, how, was it a fluke or a deliberate attempt that hit home for the first time in days? He tried to focus, tried to think of the plan, only the plan wasn't valid for much longer.

A Vorcha scout that had dashed ahead came running back, yelling something they couldn't hear over all the trampling boots at first.

"Cerberus leaving in shuttles," he hissed, out of breath, once within a dozen meters of them. "Flying north."

Kaidan got to see then a sample of why someone as infamous as Aria of Omega trusted Bray so implicitly. The Batarian didn't blink an eye before ordering a couple of Vorcha out of one of the Makos, ordering Kaidan to follow him into the vehicle, all the while ordering the gang members on foot to continue on route, forwarding command to another Batarian. It was a quick reaction that rivaled even Shepard's in a moment of crisis, and Kaidan was immensely grateful. If they were to have any chance at all of recovering Hamster, they had to be extremely quick now. The Makos were great, but had little on even outdated shuttles in terms of speed across uneven terrain, and to the north lay mountains. They had to make it to the Cerberus hideout before their last shuttle departed, which might already be too late as far as they knew. This was a gamble they'd known they'd taken when choosing numbers over speed, but no matter how good a wager you'd made, you always cursed yourself when you turned out losing. Kaidan could only pray to whatever deity was out there listening that it wouldn't be the end of the last remaining teenager.

 

 

"Waiting is the absolute worst," Shanti complained, rubbing the heels of her hands against her face in frustration. Hannah silently agreed, while trying really hard not to think as that was all she could do to keep anxiety at bay. Doing something was easier, kept you busy, but sitting here waiting, knowing nothing, was hellish. It wasn't as hopeless a fear as when the Reapers invaded, no way near as surreal, but Hannah had sort of forgotten that you could actually feel this far from happy. By some miracle, they'd all gotten good lives again, after what seemed like the end of ends, but conflict never truly ceased it seemed.

Lace appeared strangely preoccupied, sitting close to the Drell guy, the two of them having some sort of serious conversation. Hannah couldn't pick up any individual words from where she sat and couldn't imagine what they were bonding over so fast. She merely dismissed it as Lace being curious about an alien race they hadn't encountered before.

As she tried to return to her attempts at meditating the anxiety away, there was noise at one of the entrances. She instantly froze, hushing the others, moving into a crouch that allowed her to quickly move if needed. Kolyat seemed to have had a similar reaction, crouching too and ushering Lace underneath a counter close to them. Shanti powered up her biotics, but Hannah shook her head, making her relax again. Until they knew what the noise was, hiding was the better option.

There was talking, slightly muffled, and some hissing from a few of the Vorchas. Kolyat approached a manual door near him and managed to silently crack it open, just a couple of inches, which was enough to let the conversation through.

"-thousand credits per head," a voice, possibly human, spoke and Hannah felt a chill run down her spine. She drew the gun holstered at her thigh, inching closer to the door. Kolyat remained perfectly still, almost like a statue. Over his shoulder and through the gap in the door she could see familiar armor. Cerberus.

"That's 150,000 total if you can't count," a second voice spit out, one of the Cerberus people, sarcasm dripping thick like oil. The Vorchas made undignified noises, clearly protesting.

"I can count," a Vorcha said in defense, and it sounded like someone was spitting. Probably the Vorcha from what Hannah had seen over the last few hours. "I can count the heads that will roll for going against Aria, haah! Can 150,000 buy me new head?"

The Vorchas laughed between themselves, while an additional voice, deeper like Bray's, joined the conversation. This one seemed less certain on turning the proposal down. Carefully, so it wouldn't make a noise, Hannah undid the safety on her gun. Kolyat looked up and met her eyes, but gave no hint of what he was thinking.

"Aria can't reach us here and I am tired of living in this dump," the last voice said. "But 150,000 is a pathetic offer and you know it. We could get more from just selling their organs."

"We don't need them alive," the people from Cerberus declared, relaxed. Kolyat grabbed Hannah's hand around the gun, before she could react, and aimed it into the room, but up into the ceiling. "You take whatever organs you-"

Kolyat mouthed "fire" and Hannah did, pressing off shot after shot. Not knowing where the bullets came from, Cerberus assumed it was one of the gang members, while the Vorcha and the Batarian fired back at Cerberus. Hannah stopped firing when Kolyat let go of her hand. The Drell then shut the door and moved towards what looked like a tech room and a defendable spot.

"Let's hide in here for now," he suggested, voice low but not a whisper as the fight in the next room over was really loud at this point. "And hope those two came alone."

The words were barely out his mouth when there was a sort of whining, whistling noise from overhead, shortly followed by a severe tremble and loud bang. Plaster was falling off the walls and there was a crack in the ceiling. If the battle noise had been loud before, there weren't words to describe the tumult that sounded now. There were commands shouted that indicated some sort of organized attack, but Hannah couldn't pick up any details over the ringing in her ears and suddenly the tech room was crowded.

There was a whole ensemble of soldiers circling them, Alliance all of them, and they instantly zoomed in on Kolyat. The Drell raised his hand in surrender, showing himself unarmed and passive, but the soldiers had little care for that it seemed, grabbing him in a rough grip and dragging him away. Confused, Hannah shouted questions at them, asking them what the hell they were doing, because to her knowledge this was very uncharacteristic of the Alliance.

Lace threw herself after Kolyat, screaming at the soldiers to stop, letting herself be dragged along as she held onto the Drell. Shanti joined the younger girl, using her biotics to try get a better grip on the slippery floor, making vain attempts at preventing the soldiers from dragging Kolyat away.

Outside the tech room, the soldiers were already lining up the dead bodies of the other aliens. Even though one of them had considered bargaining with Cerberus over the girls, Hannah was struck with shock, as though her blood was draining from her in horror at the sight. None of them had done the girls any harm, even helped them just hours ago. And now the soldiers were taking Kolyat out onto a bloodied spot in the center of the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again that this chapter became a pair of cliffhangers and now you'll prob have to wait another week or two for more. I don't have a single day off until the 28th, but I will try to not take longer than necessary to give you more! Lots of bits I've been looking forward to write ahead!


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! Life happened and hit me hard. Also, my new job sucks, it leaves me exhausted and unstimulated at once. I am slowly going crazy. Then I wrote this other drabble piece that attracted a troll, so that was also very exciting....  
> That said, I am so excited to finally provide you all with another chapter! Thank you for sticking around!!

"I need to talk to the people outside," Shepard explained over breakfast, trying to prepare David for a few minutes alone, making him understand that stepping outside didn't mean he was abandoning the kid. David tagging along in front of all the cameras was out of the question, and Shepard sort of hoped to be rid of the larger mass of them before Mrs Alenko arrived. When she was nice enough to come, the least he could do was spare her a bordering on hostile arrival committee.

"They are journalists, aren't they?" David asked, or rather muttered around a piece of sandwich. He seemed calmer today, sitting relaxed in the too large chair across from Shepard. There was hardly a buffet between them, just sandwiches, milk for David and coffee for Shepard. Rations were still being upheld and Shepard was rather lost in the kitchen, despite training with both Kaidan and the teens. "Are you going to shoot them?"

Shepard nearly sucked coffee down his wind pipe in surprise. Then he realized that the Blasto movie they'd watched had contained such a scene, where Blasto had fired at annoying press, and that Shepard in the manners of a perfectly bad parental figure had audibly laughed at that.

"Listen," he started while still searching for words. Gosh, how did you talk to kids about things like these? Captain Hindsight was yelling at him for having shown such a violent vid in the first place (rating apparently said from eleven years old, making David grossly underage for the content), but there was little to do to undo that now. "Some things are really funny on screen, but really terrible in real life."

David paused in his devouring of his cheese covered toast, scrunching up his nose, head tilted ever so slightly to the side.

"Why?" he asked, perplexed. Not knowing if the kid meant _why is it funny_ or _why is it terrible_ , Shepard went at explaining both.

"It's funny because journalists can be very, very annoying, and it's terrible because they are probably very nice when they are not harassing you with questions."

David seemed satisfied with that, taking a big gulp of milk that left a white stripe on his upper lip. Shepard tossed him a napkin and he was smart enough to get the hint, wiping away at his mouth with the earnest that was exclusive to a kid his age.

Shepard assumed it was all fine, that this talk would be enough, that the kid now understood, but after breakast, when Shepard went for the front door, he quickly learnt differently. When putting on his shoes, David instantly joined him, putting on his own shoes with tiny hands that were still learning how to work the laces.

"No, no," Shepard protested, stopping David by putting his hand on top of the shoe. David looked even more tiny when his tiny sneaker disappeared underneath Shepard's palm. "You need to stay inside for this. I'll just be fifteen minutes. Twenty tops. You'll have to wait."

It looked like a tantrum, or would have, if David hadn't been so clearly distraught and panicked. He was crying loudly, clinging on to Shepard, begging him not to leave him behind. It was not the pleas of a kid being perturbed at being left out. It was the pleas of someone deadly afraid of solitude and Shepard's heart broke a little. He remembered vaguely being that kid once, though he remembered it as being a quiet affair that happened at night when it was cold after he'd lost yet another friend to the terrible conditions they'd lived in. Steeling himself, he tried to find the resolve to insist, to explain that David needed to stay inside and away from the paparazzi, but David was clinging and crying and he felt horrible.

"Okay," Shepard gave in, throat feeling dry, and letting David climb up into his arms. He allowed the kid time to calm down, allowed himself time, feeling tears soak into his t-shirt collar while the sniffles grew further and further apart. He tried to think of how to do this, if he could convince David to stand inside the door and be satisfied with just their hands remaining linked, but then he didn't have the heart to even suggest it.

"Keep your head down, okay?" he requested instead, feeling David nod and cling a little tighter. The boy was getting rather heavy already, for someone so small, but Shepard was out of shape compared to what he had been, and busted knee was also an issue. It was only all the more reason to keep the appearance short. "Okay, here we go."

Stepping out felt weirdly massive, a little like putting on his official suit again after his hospitalization, when going to leave official statement with the top military and political leaders, regarding the Crucible. It was really, physically a small thing, in no way anything new, but the context made it so much larger than that moment alone and Shepard could feel the weight of it like he felt the weight of David in his arms and against his chest. The kid was good, keeping his head down as promised, but the cameras honed in like scouts to a beacon anyway.

The questions came rapidly and in multitude, setting Shepard's heart running fast in his chest, but he remained steadfast, letting them attempt to exhaust their repertoire for a little while. When the questions began repeating in horrible cycles, he called for order.

"I will answer three questions and three questions only. Total, from all of you," he announced in as loud a voice he could muster without outright shouting. It quieted the crowd a bit, even if it didn't silence them entirely. They acted like an infestation of rats on dropped crumbs. "I will not answer any questions shouted at me out of order and I will skip any questions I find inappropriate."

He scanned the crowd, tried to pick out people who looked less intimidating than the rest. There was a young man at the back, gawky figure with shoulders slumped, wearing a yellow vest and being comically old school with a notebook in his hand. There was a camera hovering next to him, positioned a little high to see over all the other cameras, journalists and paparazzi. At least this guy seemed to come from a corporation, judging by the logo decorating both him and his equipment. Upon being called out, he nervously started racking through the pages of his notebook, making Shepard feel somewhat safe in his choice. Then the guy stopped fiddling, having found the question he wanted to ask.

"We have all taken part of Admiral Hackett's report on how you fired the Crucible," the journalist started rather formally, causing Shepard to break out in a cold sweat. He hadn't even thought about that this past week and it shamed him that he hadn't as much as it pained him to have been reminded again. "It was rather bare-bones and I think a lot of us are curious to know more, especially now that we are getting a clearer and clearer picture of how widely it has impacted the galaxy. For example we have found that no synthetic life seems to have survived in any system. Were you aware of exactly how the weapon would work when you fired it?"

Briefly Shepard considered passing, but found he couldn't. Hiding his guilt, it would be a disservice to the Geth, to EDI. Their sacrifice was out in the open, and people deserved to know his hands were guilty of putting them on the sacrificial altar.

"I lost many good friends, firing the Crucible the way I did," he admitted, subconsciously rubbing David's back as he did. "And yes, I was aware of the consequences."

There was a storm of follow-up questions, despite Shepard's earlier instructions. Some of them were accusing and painfully on point. He didn't give in to the heckling though, remaining resolute on at least acting as though he was ignoring them. In a way, he could do little else as he didn't dare move, lest he lose himself to the rising guilt and panic. Perhaps David felt his anxiousness, or perhaps the kid himself was feeling uneasy, but he clung on a little harder, helping Shepard to snap out of it. He cut the verbal attacks short, passing the question on at random to a woman close to him.

"Are you enjoying family life?" she asked, and too late did Shepard spot the ID around her neck, marking her as an employee of one of one of the more classic celebrity gossip shows. He had to restrain himself from audibly groaning or visibly rolling his eyes in frustration.

"Pass," he called instead. "I will not answer any questions concerning my private life. Last question!"

There were loud protests now, claiming that didn't count as he hadn't answered, but Shepard didn't care. They were his rules, so he got to interpret them as he pleased. He passed the last question to a woman he'd noted having been there since day one, but having been respectful enough to leave temporarily at night or any time he'd requested they give him space.

"Let's round off with current affairs then," she opened, making sure her camera was adjusted to pick up Shepard's reaction. "What do you think is going on over on Mars?"

This. This Shepard could do. He took a deep breath, straightened his back and but for the grey in his short hair and stubble and the kid in his arms, he very much looked like the Commander of old.

"When the Reapers first came, I said they were coming, but nobody listened," he said, feeling a rage grow in him, an anger he thought had died with the Reapers, from all the years of pleading to deaf ears to take the Reapers seriously. That indignation burned in the pit of his stomach now, bellowing out between his lips. "I was right then and I am right now. There are no Batarian slavers raiding Mars. If you are looking for an enemy in this mess you need to be looking for human faces. Good day."

As soon as the door slid shut behind them, the air seeped out of Shepard and he let David down on the floor, the kid looking up at him, concerned.

"Let's not do that again," Shepard commented, earning a nod from the boy who then turned his head, reacting to something. Shepard heard it too, some sound looping in the office. With his wounded knee being worn out, he limped through the hallway, hearing the sound clearer and clearer, yet not quite believing it. He had to be imagining things.

The office door slid aside at his gentle push, revealing the small vid com screen that only showed a time stamp, merely minutes ago, and some coordinates from Mars. The amazing thing was the sound.

"This is Major Alenko of Systems Alliance Marines. Is anybody out there?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again sorry this took so long, but Mass Effect Big Bang took all my time and creative juices until now! But you are getting two chapters this time, with an exciting (hopefully) all new POV in chapter 15! Totally entering the climax of the story now, which is super exciting, aah!! Thank you for staying with me everyone and hello to any new readers! You are all much appreciated! Totally humbled by all the comments and kudos. Now I'll shut up and give you the chapter, haha...

Going up against the Cerberus base with just one Mako was almost a bit nostalgic, if any of the potential nostalgia wasn't drowning in adrenaline and the multiple unpredictable aspects of the mission. A Batarian other than Bray drove, taking directions from Kaidan who was trying to make correct assumptions of the layout of the former Alliance base, while a Vorcha with incredibly impressive aim handled the turret. At this rate, they'd crumble and tumble rather than drive into the base, alerts blaring all across the drivers console, the air getting warm from a fire worryingly near the engine.

"Brace for impact," the driver yelled, pushing the Mako to the limit towards a large door that was closing on a garage or hangar space. Kaidan quickly checked his helmet, then bent over in a protected stance.

There was a strong jerk on the left side that sent the vehicle spinning until it slammed into a stop. Kaidan could now hear the crackling of fire and Bray was already up, ordering the team around. Everyone seemed to be fine, save for the Vorcha who had manned the canon who now lay unconscious at the opposite end of the craft. Bray simply hauled the lifeless body into the arms of a fellow Vorcha and headed out first.

Outside of the Mako they could see the smoke billowing from the back of it, giving them enough of a smoke screen to take cover before Cerberus reinforcements rained down on them. Bullets hailed, but Kaidan took comfort in that they were at least only bullets thus far, not explosives, drones or biotics, which gave them a slight advantage despite their meager numbers.

A door opened somewhere, creating a vacuum that sucked away enough of the smoke to reveal a group of Cerberus assault troopers locked in stasis and Kaidan reaved them before advancing further into the building. He didn't hear the mechanic whirling or the heavy clunks until he was way too close, and only managed to slide in behind a pile of crates in the last second, a machine gun spewing out rounds at the path where he'd just walked. He kept moving, barely escaping the explosion that obliterated the crates. From the corner of his eyes, he noticed a daring Vorcha climb the mech, firing something into its joints, efficiently crippling it.

"To the left!" Bray suddenly yelled from somewhere, his voice echoing around like a ricocheting bullet in the large hangar and when Kaidan looked left, he saw the Batarian running through an open gate, leading into a neighboring hangar. In there, shuttles were still being loaded, shipping out one at the time. Kaidan ran for all he was worth, the gang members filling up behind him, blocking Cerberus pursuers from following him and Bray.

As Kaidan leapt into the second hangar, he had to throw himself on the ground to not be decapitated by a leaving shuttle. Looking up once it'd passed, he got a glimpse of Bray tossing out a Cerberus soldier just before it exited the compound. Turning his gaze back towards the indoor area, Kaidan quickly noticed there were only three shuttles left, one already off the ground. Running again, he reached out with his biotics, lifting as many enemies as he could in the closest grounded shuttle, preventing it from taking off before he arrived. Whoever was running Cerberus now had to be way more ruthless than the Illusive Man though. Up from a balcony, a Centurion was firing heavy explosives at Cerberus own shuttles. Once the last two vehicles perished in the flames and smoke, the Centurion turned on Kaidan, barely giving him time to dive for cover.

If Cerberus had managed to get Hamster out of the compound, his fate was now entirely in Bray's hands. Cerberus reinforcements arrived and Kaidan could do little else but try to survive long enough to reunite with the Omega gang forces.

 

_They'd gone out onto the usual field, a bit obscured by some surrounding woods, but plenty of open ground and a few obstacles in a mock training course they'd set up themselves. Shepard always got tired fast whenever they did this, but this time like any other, he'd pushed himself to not let it show. Even so, after a couple of hours he was sitting down on a rock while Hannah got to run around on her own. He'd still give her pointers, but less and less with time. He'd been silent for a good fifteen minutes or so when Hannah slowed down and raised her hands to take the helmet off. As it came off, he looked at her with a sad smile, something distant falling over his face. She recognized the look._

_"Remembering someone?" she asked, striding up to him, trying to not give away quite how out of breath she was. Damn, but running in gear was harder than she'd expected. She couldn't even imagine how taxing it must've been before the introduction of exoskeletons in these things._

_Shepard straightened himself, his military posture returning like a second skin, familiar yet a construct at once. Shepard had been a soldier so long and for such a defining part of his life that it was impossible to tell who he would've been without it, but of course there was much more to the man and legend he'd become than a soldier's discipline and mannerism. At times, that other Shepard shone through, when he was sad or tired especially. It was subtle and not easy to pick up on to the untrained eye, but Hannah prided herself in having gotten rather good at reading him by now._

_"Ever told you about Ashley?" he asked, validating Hannah's confidence, causing pride to swell in her chest._

_"I think maybe K' did," Hannah said, missing the almost pout that Shepard used to make when he first found that the teens got to call him that, when Shepard apparently had been firmly denied. "She was part of the Normandy crew?"_

_Shepard nodded, looking out over the trees at nothing in particular. He did this, when trying to be casual about hard topics. At first, he'd avoided those topics entirely, changing subject to something cheerier, making some occasionally really bad jokes, but as Hannah had turned eighteen, he'd opened up a bit more. Hannah got a feeling it was part of his way of treating her as an adult._

_"You'd have gotten along swimmingly, the two of you," he said, as though the memory of one of many lost friends didn't hurt. "And she would've killed me if I didn't properly teach you to guard the weaknesses of your suit. Put the helmet back on."_

_Hannah did, paying close attention as Shepard pointed out all the joints, covering the angles at which they were most likely to take damage, what you could and couldn't do to shield yourself. Then he got to the neck._

_"The neck is the most vulnerable of them all, as it needs to be so flexible," Shepard said, taking the heavy pistol that sat in the suit's holster. With practiced ease he removed the thermo clip, stuffing it in his pocket. Then he quickly raised the muzzle, shoving it in between the helmet and hard neckline of the chest armor plates where it firmly lodged itself. "Try to remove that."_

_Hanna tried, using all her strength, but it was stuck and Shepard was grinning._

_"I did this once in a battle simulation, to one of our trainers," he reminisced with a pinch of glee. "Wasn't too popular, but I made an important point. The neck is extremely vulnerable in Alliance gear. Now, you'll have greater luck losing me, than losing the pistol, unless you remove the helmet."_

_Hannah raised her hands to remove the helmet, but before she could, Shepard had gotten her in a grip that restrained both her hands, as well as holding onto the pistol again._

_"And if they get you in a grip like this, what will you do?"_

_Hannah narrowed her eyes, not amused even though she actually appreciated Shepard's challenges that he kept throwing at her, having noticed how fast she learned from them. Still, it felt a little belittling at times when she failed to see them coming even though she ought to have known better by now. It was so typical Shepard._

_"Since you're not in gear I'll knee you in the balls," she said coolly, but not doing anything to act on it. Shepard laughed hard and brief, stepping back and letting the pistol go._

_"You and Ashley would've made a terrifying pair," he commented, catching the weapon as it fell free when Hannah finally got to remove the helmet._

Hannah remembered this moment as she saw the Alliance soldier drag Kolyat away.

Lace and Shanti were both screaming, but to Hannah it was as though everything went quiet, distant, as everything around fell out of focus but that gap between the helmet and the chest plate of the soldier dragging Kolyat. It was barely a conscious move, gripping the gun and rushing forward. The gun lodged, perfectly, just like it had when Shepard had done it to her. Getting the grip on the soldier wasn't quite as smooth a process, but luck was with her, the soldier's shock giving her enough time to figure it out.

The sensation of realizing she'd actually done it was not unlike your ears popping as you stepped through the airlock, the air pressure changing to level with what waited on the other side. It was like coming up above water and having all your senses back to usual function and her pulse was pumping hard. She was close enough to see the soldier blink behind his visor, close enough for the anonymous suit to become a person and Hannah's determination faltered a bit. But then there was Kolyat on the ground, still firmly in the soldier's grip.

"Drop the Drell," she commanded and in a couple of seconds, Kolyat was moving away, Lace helping him up, drying away tears all the while checking Kolyat's elbow that must've been scraped in the scuffle. "Now drop your weapons."

"Now hold up, young lady," a soldier began protesting from behind her and Hannah spun around quickly, holding firmly onto the man she'd essentially taken hostage, holding him like a shield in front of her. A bunch of soldiers, all Alliance gear, stood there, passively waiting. A few of them had dropped their weapons, some holding them up in a pacifying manner while a number followed the lead of one soldier, probably the commanding officer judging by the markings on his gear, who kept his aim at Hannah, occasionally shifting over to Kolyat.

"Lower your weapons and explain yourselves," Hannah demanded, trying to channel as much authority as she could in her voice, drilling her eyes into the officer who'd addressed her, willing him to take her seriously. "What were your orders? Why are you here? And why did you kill our guards?"

The officer faltered in his step, only momentarily, but then he huffed in indignation.

"Guards?" he questioned, then gestured to the dead bodies on the ground. "These scum must've tricked you bad, because they were slavers!"

For an instant, Hannah had a moment of doubt, but then she thought of how at least the Vorcha had refused to sell them to Cerberus, even if just out of fear of this Aria-person. They may have been slavers once, but to Hannah they had only ever been guards. Furthermore, the suspicion of them having been slavers shouldn't have sanctioned this slaughter, not from the Alliance.

"These _allies_ were in cooperation with Alliance Navy Major and Specter Alenko on a mission to retrieve me and three human minors kidnapped by Cerberus," Hannah objected. "What were _your_ orders?"

Silence spread, but someone was pushing through from the back of the soldiers. A red-haired woman stepped forth, not dressed in combat gear like the rest, but clearly marked as Alliance. She looked vaguely familiar and from the way she looked back at Hannah, the sense of familiarity was mutual.

"Did you say Cerberus?" the woman asked, but instead of an answer, she got Lace identifying her.

"Gabby?!"

The former Normandy engineer walked up in front of the Alliance officer, boldly keeping her back to him as she looked the teens over with something like wonder. Her friendly face was such a gift that Hannah almost forgot all the guns still raised at the ready.

"You're Shepard's and Alenko's kids," Gabby commented, momentarily sidetracked from the situation and the mention of Cerberus that had drawn her to the front. "We met at Steve's wedding!"

"Yes!" Lace and Shanti exclaimed in unison, desperate, as though this connection might be the only thing that could save them. Hannah only nodded once, still jittery with nerves and tense muscles, holding firmly on to her hostage as though she would die if she relaxed.

Gabby turned to the officer, putting her hand at the muzzle of his weapon.

"Lower the gun, Captain," she demanded. "You honestly want to put in your report that you held kids at gunpoint?"

Hannah didn't bother to correct Gabby, to point out that she'd hit adulthood since they last met, just waited for the soldiers to finally, thankfully lower their arms, vast majority of them even holstering them. A few of them glanced at Kolyat, and Hannah hurried to speak in his defence.

"The Drell is with us. Cerberus is after him too."

It was perhaps a bit of a lie, but considering that Kolyat had played an important part in their escape, it probably was to some degree true by now. At least the statement seemed to give him the immunity he needed, because the soldier's stances changed, less prepared and some even turning Kolyat their back. He was clearly no longer perceived a threat.

"Sorry," Hannah conceded, finally, to the soldier in her arms, slowly removing her hold on him. He made no sudden moves, letting her shift away first, as though she were a frightened animal. Once she was a few feet away and had stepped forward to where he could see her, he raised his hand to remove the gun.

"You have to-," Hannah started, making a gesture to bring attention to the helmet which got the message across. The man removed the helmet, muttering curses under his breath as the gun fell loose. The Captain ordered him to the back and he scurried away without a word. Hannah would never see him again, but it would be long before she forgot his face. She was struck between proud that she pulled that stunt off without killing anyone, and enraged over the dead bodies of multiple Vorcha and Batarians that still lay lined up behind her. It was a complicated feeling.

"If it's Cerberus we're up against, I might be familiar with the technology behind the communications jammer," Gabby then offered. A buzz stirred up amongst the soldiers, and it was hard to catch the mood of it. The former Normandy engineer simply continued to explain. "If it is indeed Cerberus, I probably have seen the schematics for a predecessor to the jammer they are using now, as it was once considered to be fitted into the Normandy. If you can find me _one_ of the jammers, I should be able to counter and thereby disable the signal from every jammer of the same type on the entire planet. Given a little time."

The Captain took a deep breath and then gave new orders.

"Find me one. Now!"

Then he stepped up to Hannah, close enough that only she could hear the man speak.

"Sorry about your guards," he uttered briefly, almost mumbled, before leading his soldiers out on their search. Standing back, Hannah tried to feel consoled by the apology, even though it was too little, too late, and instead vowed to become a new generation of Alliance that would not repeat the same sort of mistake. Despite having just seen the Alliance in a really poor light for the first time ever, she was more determined than ever to sign up. Watching the soldiers line up in smaller scouting units, she thought it was time.

"Captain," she said, following the man in question. "I think I know where we might find one of the jammers."


	15. Chapter 15

One would believe that facing enough moments when you were certain this was it, this time you were dying for sure, one would ultimately become better at handling it. If that had been the case, Hamster had to be some sort of exception to the rule. He was handling it marginally better than that day when the Reapers had first descended on London. He remembered being outside playing soccer during PE when there was a sound that sounded like nothing else he'd ever heard. At first they'd been confused, someone asking _'what was that?'_ and the game slowing down as everyone started looking around. Then the first Reaper had broken through the clouds and it had been so surreal.

Hamster remembered thinking it was too huge to be real, that he had to be dreaming or that he was at the movies or something, and then it landed. The ground trembled under the weight of it and more Reapers appeared, much closer. The screams started and considering how young he'd been and that _that_ day had been the one to change _everything_ , Hamster wasn't too ashamed to admit he had at some point peed himself in fear. No one ever talked about such details, but many hours later when he and his classmates had reached shelter, he'd noted that he hadn't been the only one.

At least Cerberus weren't _that_ scary and thankfully he had better control of his bladder now. He was still rendered useless by the fear though, the bindings on his arms and legs not necessary to keep him still. He cursed himself for his one moment of bravery, when he'd drawn attention to himself before Hannah could, thinking that they'd never make it unless she led them. On the other hand, she would still have been able to act here in his place, and not just lay around like a useless rag, being tossed around as Cerberus moved out from the premises.

Then, during the flight, the Cerberus people had started talking about what to do with him. And about Shepard. Hamster didn't hear everything. The people talking were all in the front of the shuttle and while the door to the pilot's cabin was open so they could glance back at him once in a while, the vehicle wasn't the most silent of rides, especially when they tried flying low over mountainous ground, every shift making the shuttle hum and groan a little extra. But he heard this:

"If Jana's going for Operation Archduke, are the kids even needed any more?"

The ship swayed, and some words were lost, but something about "for now" and "as an insurance" made it through to the back. One of the soldiers then stepped back into the larger storage area of the shuttle, stopping just a few feet away from Hamster and strapping himself to a thick bar in the ceiling before opening a hatch that allowed him to peak outside. Hamster lay on the ground the whole time, trying to swallow his heart down as it felt as though it had jumped up in his throat, beating hard and fast as he wondered what the Cerberus people were really saying.

"Just got to wait for that Batarian sniper rifle to make it to Earth, and then..."

Hamster looked up just in time to see the man in the co-pilot seat shape his hand as if holding a gun and making a gesture as if firing it. The pilot shook her head however.

"It's gotta be the right moment, a moment when everyone sees him or it won't have the same impact," she said.

The soldier in the back then opened the side door and Hamster's stomach lurched, thinking he was going to slide out and fall to his death. Someone at the front shouted before that happened though and the door shut again.

"Patience, man!" the pilot shouted, taking another wide turn. The conversation was continued by the man in the co-pilot seat.

"Will he show though?"

"Please! This is Commander Shepard we're talking about. World leaders' favourite puppet. They'll make him-"

A loud bang rang through the entire hull, the vehicle jeering sharply right and then a hammering noise started, accompanied by multiple dents in the side. The soldier in the back swore, readying his weapon while opening the door all the way.

Hamster had honestly never thought there would be a day when he'd find a Batarian beautiful, but when a Batarian with peachy skin and black armour swept in like he was fucking Batman, you appreciated the shit out of all that cartilage and excess of eyes and whatnot. That said, Hamster still screamed because the Batarian in question jumped into the shuttle mid-flight, causing the vehicle to wobble quite dramatically. For Hamster that meant sliding across the floor until he hit the wall next to the open door. He was very aware of the few safe feet that separated him from a long fall to the ground.

The Batarian wasn't the only one up for air stunts. He was followed by more Cerberus soldiers and a whole lot of bullets. The Batarian used the now dead Cerberus solider hooked to the ceiling as a shield against the bullets, kicking out one other follower, just as they had landed behind him. A third person that Hamster hadn't caught sight of before appeared from who knew where in the pilot's cabin, joining the struggle. As the two were trying to put bullets in each other, the Cerberus soldier adding an omni-blade into the mix, the man in the co-pilot seat rose, drawing a firearm of his own. The pilot was shouting something at him and he replied something along the lines of "not worth the risk" in return, but Hamster failed to get the context. He didn't need it though as the gun soon skipped past the Batarian and pointed at him instead. Still being tied up, there was little he could do other than stare down the muzzle and think, this was indeed it.

Then suddenly the Batarian was there in front of him, stumbling, but efficiently blocking the line of sight. In all the noise, Hamster had failed to hear the gun going off though, and it wasn't until later that he realized that that bullet had actually hit home. It was hard to catch that when the Batarian kept fighting, throwing Cerberus soldiers out the side like garbage, before lastly going for the pilot. He tossed the lifeless body out of the seat as he was done, quickly landing the vehicle. In retrospect Hamster figured the poor landing should've tipped him off.

"Kid," the Batarian called, voice a bit wheezy, from the front. "Are you the one they call _Hamster_?"

It sounded so weird out the alien mouth that Hamster nearly laughed, but he was too relieved over being saved, to be back on the ground. He shouted an affirmative that nearly came out as a whimper.

The Batarian removed the seat belts he'd sloppily slipped into and made his way to the back. Halfway he collapsed to his knees and crawled the last bit. When he used a knife to cut Hamster's bond, Hamster saw that his hands were red with blood. Never having seen Batarian blood before, Hamster had first assumed it was blood from the Cerberus people the Batarian had killed.

"I need you to look at something," the Batarian said, removing pieces of his armor.

Hamster, a little high on the adrenaline, laughed nervously and wondered if this was some sort of kinky alien thing. Until he saw a large wet wound with jagged edges in the Batarian's stomach.

"Oh crap," he let out, belatedly realizing that that was perhaps the wrong thing to say, that maybe he should try instil some hope even if it looked like there was none. The Batarian just looked incredibly deadpan though. Hamster had no idea if that was an actually expression that Batarians had or if this perhaps was just the poor guy's face of pain and dread.

"I need you to look inside the wound," the Batarian explained calmly, sitting back against the wall while removing a medi-gel container attached to his omni-tool.

"What!?" Hamster shrieked, because despite having been through a lot of hard situations for someone his age, he'd never been asked to look down an open wound before. The Batarian seemed to have little concern with his little freak-out, continuing to line up things like the knife, some wire and bottle with some liquid. He then took the bottle and shoved it into Hamster's hand. The hand dropped once Hamster took the bottle and Hamster then noted the peachy skin was starting to look more grey.

"Pour this into the wound and tell me if you see something green," the Batarian said, calm and commanding. "Please."

"Oh god," Hamster whimpered, but did as told with shaking hands. The liquid in the bottle was clear, cleansing the blood away and what it revealed, Hamster couldn't tell if it was better or worse than all the blood. He kept pouring until he indeed saw something green.

"There, green!" he nearly shouted, his exclamation echoing through the otherwise very quiet vehicle. "Like olive green. Is that good? Is it bad?"

His hands were still trembling, accidentally squirting out some more of the liquid into the wound. The Batarian didn't seem to care, just breathing through the pain and looking at him. It was rather unnerving.

"Is the green contained, or is it leaking out?"

When Hamster looked again, the blood had already started refilling the cavity and he poured some more liquid to clear it. There definitely was some green leaking out, mixing with the blood until the blood washed over completely.

"It's leaking," Hamster confirmed, sitting back, not knowing what that meant. The Batarian had to know, drawing as deep a sigh as he could with the wound. It wasn't very deep and he cringed, biting down hard for a couple of seconds, while restraining pained coughs.

"That green substance is highly acidic," he explained, sounding a bit resigned. "I have about fifteen minutes before the damage gets too severe. I need you to tie the two tubes leading to the green bladder, cut the bladder out of me and then rinse the wound in that time."

Hamster was silent for about five seconds before he squeaked out another, barely audible "oh crap."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed riding with Hamster for a chapter! Next chapter we're back with Shepard, promise!


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter has been RIDICULOUSLY hard to write. I feel I probably should stop apologizing for taking so long to update, but yeah, sorry! I remember thinking this was going to be a 20k story of maybe 10 chapters tops. It is now close to 30k and will keep going for a while yet (though we are now entering the third/"climax" act!). I am sorry/you are welcome that this story is turning into such a monster, ahaha! Thank you as always for sticking around!

In retrospect Shepard would think that he usually wasn't that unobservant. Perhaps it was because he had been so exhausted and tense for days, finally relaxing now that he knew that Kaidan had survived that attack ending their last vid-com talk. Perhaps it was because Mrs Alenko was there now, taking care of both him and David in a way that allowed him to manage a  nap on the couch, despite the background noises of David acting out scenes from Blasto vids for Mrs Alenko. Possibly it could be because there'd been a near constant humdrum from the paparazzi outside, ever since they'd first arrived, and Shepard had by now stopped reacting to any of the noises they made. Whatever the reason, the window being smashed caught Shepard entirely off guard.

He lunged up from the couch, ignoring the way his knee flared in pain, the burning sensation soon blending out into the surge of adrenaline. Shards of glass hit the floor and slid across the wooden panels. They didn't quite reach Mrs Alenko who had gathered David into her arms. The kid seemed too shocked to cry yet.

There were shouts from the street, but Shepard was unable to make any sense of them as he tried getting closer to see the culprit. He was nearly hit in the head by a smoke grenade. The metal canister grazed his shoulder instead, bouncing down on the floor and spinning a half circle behind him. Then the gas hit face.

He tried to call out to Mrs Alenko to escape out the back, but all that came out was a hacking cough. His eyes started tearing up badly as he hurriedly fumbled to the floor, grabbing the grenade that was hot from the chemical reactions releasing the gas. It would probably leave burns, but Shepard gripped it hard anyway, trying to see the hole in the window through his tears. It was hard to see any details other than where the light came in, so he simply aimed for the area of the window, using as much force he could muster and hoped it was enough. He could hear the grenade hitting the glass on the way out, sending another cascade of shards the other way, but it did go out at least.

Mrs Alenko called his name from the far end of the house and he noted that David was calling and crying too.

"Traitor!" an angry voice yelled from the street, the sentiment echoed by more voices and in several synonyms, some worse than the first.

The smoke grenade came flying back, but this time they missed and it bounced off the wall. There was the fading sound of rapid footfalls outside, the culprits running away and Shepard let them, having little choice with his eyes and lungs still badly affected by the smoke. Feeling his way, he made it to the back of the house where Mrs Alenko had opened the back door, as well as having procured wet towels to breathe through. David sat on the door step, the towel over the lower half of his face, looking rather unhappy but otherwise fine, as far as Shepard could see through the clearing tears.

"Everybody alright?" Shepard asked, just in case, getting affirmatives from Mrs Alenko for both of them, shortly followed by an eye shower-bottle out of the first aid kit. As he hunkered over to wash his eyes, he felt a small hand on his shoulder. He also let some of the saline solution trickle down on his hand that stung at contact.

"We should contact the police," Mrs Alenko said and Shepard could only nod in response. He wasn't a Specter any more. It wasn't his job to chase down criminals, not even ones as petty as these.

"Will you?" he requested, not seeing Mrs Alenko nod in response, but hearing her activating her civilian grade omni-tool.

"Why would someone do that?" David then asked, sounding as shocked as any kid ought to be at this vandalism. When Shepard had been six, he'd already been pretty jaded about people's cruelty, but he was glad that David was still surprised.

Mrs Alenko saved Shepard from finding something wise to say, squeezing in her two cents while waiting for the call to the police to connect.

"Sometimes when people disagree very much they forget how to talk," she explained curtly and easy, as though it was as simple as that, and perhaps it was. It felt like understatement of the year though once the police arrived to escort them to alternative accommodation closer to London, walking them past the front of the house where words of hatred were sprayed large and aggressive. This felt larger than a mere disagreement.

The press and paparazzi were all there again, flashing cameras in their faces and Shepard did his best to hide David away, guiding the kid's steps as he shielded his face with the blanket wrapped around his shoulders. Later, when seeing news screenings, Shepard would realize that some of the reporters and paparazzi had never actually left, had been there all along and done nothing to stop the attack. They'd just filmed the whole thing, without shame. Whatever little energy Shepard had had left, that tidbit of information consumed the last of it.

The three of them, Shepard, David and Mrs Alenko, had been shown into a guest apartment annexed to the London Alliance headquarters. It was nothing as fancy as the structure had been before the Reaper war, the construction feeling somewhat temporary as so many other public buildings still did, but they were assured it was safe and guarded.

David looked sad and nervous, even though Mrs Alenko tried to cheer him up with the make-shift Blasto doll she'd made him out of yarn, not long before the attack. Shepard just stood looking, feeling like he'd backtracked to square one where he had no idea what to do with the kid. Then Mrs Alenko gently pushed David towards him, and it felt strangely natural to crouch and embrace the boy. David burrowed his face into Shepard's chest and Shepard simply held on to him.

Not ten minutes later the moment of reprieve ended as an officer knocked on the door requesting Shepard's presence at a meeting. The Alliance had no authority over Shepard any longer, as he was officially and fully retired, but the request had been presented as an order nonetheless. This time David didn't panic when Shepard started to leave, but Mrs Alenko had to physically hold the kid back to keep him from following.

"I'll be back within an hour," Shepard promised, words directed at David but enunciated in a way so there would be no doubts to the officer that this was a time limit set for the Alliance and this meeting of theirs.

The officer led Shepard down some corridors and with each step Shepard felt this growing unease, similar to the sensation when you felt like you'd forgotten something important at home and wanted to run back and check. It took him longer than it ought to for him to realize this was the first time since Kaidan left that he'd been apart from David. In such a short time he'd gotten strangely used to not being alone, to having this big responsibility. To hand it over to someone else, however temporarily, felt strange and disconcerting. He trusted Mrs Alenko implicitly, but he still couldn't quite relax.

"After you," the officer broke through the anxiety Shepard was building up. The woman was holding up a door leading to a conference room. There was a vid-com activated, Admiral Hackett already displayed. Physically present in the room were a few advisors and lower ranking Alliance Admirals of both the Navy and the Marines. Spread between them were datapads with files that looked awfully a lot like personal dossier material mixed with extracted news material. Shepard saw his own profile on a couple of the pads. He was starting to get a sense of what this meeting was about. He ignored the seat that was being offered to him, instead glaring up at the blue hologram of Admiral Hackett.

"I'm retired," he said, crossing his arms. Admiral Hackett didn't seem too concerned with that, even if the others had sense enough to squirm a little in their seats at Shepard's tone.

"And rightfully so," Hackett placated. "But you are still a very influential figure and your recent statement has caused quite a stir. I'm not saying you are wrong, as honestly none of us know anything for sure yet, but there is conflict brewing here on Earth that we all must be very cautious with."

Shepard tried not to feel angry with Admiral Hackett. The two of them had lots of history and honestly, he could see where the man was coming from, and knew that the nature of the Mars operation hadn't been entirely to Hackett's preferences. If Shepard had understood Liara right, Hackett had been properly distrusting of the fabricated Mars vids. Still, being told how to conduct himself in public felt awfully Council-like.

"You could've shared the Shadow Broker's findings regarding the authenticity of the Mars vids and perhaps this situation would've looked very different," Shepard said, not a little bit salty. Hackett looked tired, but nodded in a manner that said he agreed. Even if it didn't really change anything, it appeased Shepard somewhat. Hackett might be the Admiral, but this matter must've been out of his hands. If opposed by everyone amongst Alliance leaders, Hackett's word would've been overruled and unlike Shepard he probably wasn't at liberty to say what he wanted if it went against the general consensus.

"Perhaps, but we can't go back and do things differently," Hackett said, while the people around the conference room looked down into the surface of the table, pretending to look through documents or taking notes to avoid eye contact. Your typical cowards at occasions such as these. "We must now find a way to stop this development before it starts snowballing."

Shepard wasn't so sure that hadn't already started happening, but he nodded in agreement anyway, finally taking a seat. The situation was definitely at a damage control-stage already. As of present, as far as Shepard had gathered through discreet readings while Mrs Alenko had helped watch David, there were at large two camps in the brewing conflict: Pro-Alien and Anti-Alien. There probably was a quiet majority who were fairly neutral to the matter, but those were not about to wreak any havoc over their opinions. As for the two camps, they could be divided into smaller camps if you looked at what solution they offered to the problem. One of the advisors set off into a briefing detailing the different groups that were considered cause for concern, alternatively could potentially be utilized to ease up the level of unrest.

Pro-Alien fractions were, not surprisingly, mostly non-human groups defending themselves in the conflict. Most of them pointed out that they had come here at Shepard's and the Alliance's request to protect humanity against the Reapers. Most of them really just wanted to go home to their own home-worlds, but had accepted the impossibility of that wish for the time being. All they demanded was a safe haven and some respect while they waited. These groups were presented as a rhetorical asset for calming people who wanted aliens out of human space, but nothing more specific than that.

Then there were a rare few aliens who actually wanted to stay around indefinitely, and who desperately tried to prove they were harmless and that they had something to contribute to the cluster. Some had no problems throwing Batarians under the proverbial bus in order to do so.

Some aliens were resentful towards humanity, expressing support in whatever the Batarians were supposedly doing, feeling that the ungrateful humans had it coming. Fortunately this group was still very small, but if Shepard had learned anything from his years navigating the politics of the Citadel and Council Space, that group would soon grow if the situation kept giving them traction. The advisor seemed to have concluded the same, but labelled them a more definite threat than Shepard would have.

There were also human allies, many veterans who'd seen the now stranded aliens in the battle field, humans who knew first hand just how crucial all these alien forces had been in saving Earth. When the advisor suggested they support the voices of these veterans, Shepard had to refrain from pointing out they'd just done the opposite.

Another bunch were religious humans, fighting discontent with prayer and cultural events. The only solution they offered was a message of love that was heart-warming to anyone who didn't need convincing and probably nonsensical to anyone firmly seated in the Anti-Alien camp. The advisor seemed to ascribe them some value, but Shepard couldn't see how they served any other purpose than a sense of solidarity.

As for Anti-Alien camp, most just wanted aliens out of human space. How? They didn't seem to care. They had demands, but no plans, and they were perhaps the loudest of anyone involved. Throw in someone charismatic _with_ a plan and they could easily be turned into a much more dangerous force. Thankfully none of the people with plans so far were charismatic enough and fortunately none of them had the head to simplify their plans aptly to allure the masses. So for now the plans mostly drowned in the general cries of displeasure on both sides. Shepard hoped, but did not trust it to stay that way.

Lastly there was a considerable section of the Anti-Alien camp who didn't mind the Alien's presence per se, were just averse to the amount of resources spent on anyone not human. They reminded Shepard and awful lot of his days with Cerberus. They didn't see the line between _anything for humanity_ and _humanity first_ , completely ignoring the _at any cost_ that was written between the lines. They weren't bad people, or at least didn't see themselves as such, but their skewed values, no matter how neatly wrapped in diplomatic words, still clearly revealed their unfair priorities. When the advisor suggested they attempt to appease this lot, Shepard had to cut in.

"Don't be ridiculous," he said, drawing all the gazes in the room, including the affronted-looking advisor's. "How is validating one side and marginalizing the other going to make things better? Do this and you'll have an alien uprising on your hands."

Admiral Hackett didn't say anything, not yet, but he looked very focused, gaze intently on whoever spoke. One of the advisors clasped their hands on the table, turning to Shepard accusingly.

"That sounds like a threat," they said, getting various words and sounds of agreement to that statement. Shepard couldn't understand how he'd forgotten how infuriating these kind of meetings were. It took a couple of deep breaths through his nose to calm down to think of something constructive to say.

"It's not a threat," he said. "It's all of my experience of mediating between groups that tells me that your plan is bound for hell and nowhere else. As someone who managed to unite the galaxy against the Reapers, isn't it fair to say I've had more success in these kind of situations than all of you together?"

The advisors weren't buying it.

"With the Reapers we had a clear, common enemy," they argued, and Shepard couldn't restrain the exhausted laugh that erupted at that. As though half the struggle hadn't been convincing everyone there was an enemy at all out there.

"You'll do what you want, I can't stop you," Shepard concluded, giving up this fight as he knew he'd lose it ultimately anyway. He knew how to tell when people were dead set by now and he wasn't about to waste his time on hard-headed fools. He stood up, biting together to not openly grimace at the pain in his strained knee. The advisors and admirals didn't need to see him faltering in any way. "I'll just go do what I usually do."

As he turned to leave, the inevitable question was cast at his back.

"And what exactly is that?"

It was one of the admirals, and Shepard spared them a glance from the door.

"I'll solve this mess myself," he said. Admiral Hackett looked to him through the vid-com and Shepard felt like the old man's sad and tired look probably mirrored his own.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry Shepard," Hackett said, cryptically. The door closed between them, and Shepard was left alone in the corridor. He hadn't paid much attention on which turns they made getting here, so there was a bit of guess work finding the guest apartment again, but a few minutes later he was back.

"Shepard!" David cried excitedly the instant the apartment door slid open. The kid ran up to him and wrapping around his legs like a plaster for a couple of seconds.

"Did you blast them?" he asked earnestly and Shepard was too amused to to once again remind him that real life didn't work like the Blasto vids. He was about to instead give a dramatized and totally fabricated account of how he didn't need a blaster to handle bureaucrats and similar folks, when a familiar face appeared around the corner.

"Steve!" Shepard greeted, happy to see the man, but genuinely surprised. "What are you doing here?"

They quickly embraced in greeting, David still holding onto Shepard's leg, even if he wasn't clinging as tightly as before.

"A mutual friend informed me you might need a ride," Steve replied, quickly checking some details on his omni-tool. "In fact we should leave within five minutes. The Alliance is about to have you arrested for inciting violence against humanity. You just have to step on important people's toes, don't you?"

By the time they made the shuttle, Shepard still hadn't made up his mind on whether he should laugh or cry out in frustration.


	17. Chapter 17

Hamster was officially never, ever becoming a surgeon. By some miracle he hadn't passed out yet, or killed the Batarian who kept making quipped comments every now and then, but oh lord all the guts and gore was freaking him out. He'd never been much a fan of splatter when it was all fiction in a vid and he certainly was no fan of it in real life. On top of everything, his hands were shaking worse and worse with each passing minute. He'd managed to clamp the bladder, but as he tried to steady himself for making the necessary cuts, he just failed. The way his hands were shaking, he wouldn't make neat incisions. The result would be shreds, as though he'd used a blender rather than a tiny knife.

"I can't do it," he exclaimed, panicking and nearly dropping the knife into the open wound, laughing nervously as he caught himself last second before his grip slipped. He noted vaguely that his head was hurting, as well as his fingers that had probably been in touch with the acidic Batarian body fluids. He laughed again, a little manic, and there was a whimper or two mixed in there with the sound.

"Whatever you do, you can't make it any worse than it already is," the Batarian calmly informed, as if that was any comfort. "You'll do your best and maybe I'll live. If it doesn't work out it won't be your fault, kid."

The words were slightly slurred now, probably a bad sign, and Hamster wanted to cry. He didn't want to be responsible for this Batarian's life or death. He also didn't want to be alone. In fact, he'd rather be back with Cerberus than all alone out here in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by corpses.

"But if I'm not good enough, then it is my fault," Hamster said, small and anxious, feeling terribly restless like the walls of the shuttle were closing in on them, encasing him in this space that was far too small. His pulse was a little fast, his hands sweating and when he paid attention to it, he noticed his breath was a little shallow and erratic. Possibly he was building up to a panic attack, which certainly wasn't helping. Thinking that only made him panic more.

"You're just a minor, _Hamster_ ," the Batarian said, the nickname sounding weird from the alien's mouth, but it worked like an anchor. It reminded Hamster of working the kitchen back in London the months following the end of the Reaper war, feeling lost and confused together with the other teens and having no clue what any of them were doing, what tomorrow would bring. It reminded him of the larger than life Commander Shepard being wheeled in, all small and brittle, barely a fragment of a person yet still so awe-inspiring. Of Kaidan giving them hints on how to make Shepard laugh and smile again.

"No one expects you to be an experienced medic all of a sudden," the Batarian continued, and it struck Hamster he hadn't yet asked the alien's name. "Even if your best won't be enough to save me, it will still be a commendable effort."

"Okay," Hamster tried to calm himself, taking shaky but deep and slow breaths. "Okay, I'll try. Just... talk to me. Tell me your name and how you know mine. Anything."

The Batarian sort of smiled at that, which was an odd expression to have when someone was angling a knife towards your guts, but Hamster tried not to think too much about that.

"I'm Bray," the Batarian said. "And I know who you are because back during the Reaper war, Commander Shepard and I once invaded a space station together with an organized crime leader."

That piece of information was just mindboggling enough that Hamster actually managed to not freak out as he cut the first end of the acidic bladder.  

 

 

It felt like hours had passed, but Kaidan knew from experience that was more than likely exhaustion warping his sense of time. He'd tried to make head-counts every now and then and approximated they'd lost about half the crew from the Makos. Time was crucial at this stage, but the battle was far too intense to check how much time had truly passed. He could only hope the rest of the alien mercenaries and gang members would arrive soon, or else they might not even make an escape out of the base.

And they still had no idea where Hamster was.

They'd just downed an Atlas mech and a couple of Vorcha were trying to roll it over so its canons were aimed back towards the remaining two mechs that were approaching them. The intention was to use Cerberus own firepower against them. There was a Batarian that was supposed to be guarding the Vorcha pair's backs, but he was locked one-on-one with a phantom and Kaidan cursed himself for not realizing sooner. A person in Cerberus gear and with a sniper rifle lay perched on a path above, aiming at the Vorchas and while Kaidan managed to reach out and biotically lift the person in time to prevent a killing bullet, one Vorcha still got hit in the leg. It was enough to rob them of the chance at rolling over the mech. There was too much open ground between the toppled mech and Kaidan, or any of the other aliens, for anyone to be able get there and help.

Kaidan quickly checked his grenade belt. Only one left. No matter how well he threw that, it wouldn't be enough to rid of both the mechs and aside from them, there were Cerberus soldiers crawling in practically every corner.

A calm settled over Kaidan then, a cold and sad sort of calm that he hadn't felt since that first late evening in London, pulling Shepard in for a last kiss, accepting there might never be any more. As familiar as it was, it was still a strange sensation, like slipping into mud that was almost body temperature. Not pleasant, but not exactly unpleasant either.

He turned over towards the Vorchas, watching them taunt Cerberus with a vigour that any other species would've lost by now. Even the Vorcha with a bullet in their leg was energetic still, firing up at the pathway above. The Batarian who'd battled the phantom had come out on top, but not without a price. His eyes met Kaidan's as he pressed a hand over a cut in his side, also calm, also accepting. Even if there had been a few years of peace, they were still all seasoned soldiers who'd lived longer than they'd expected.

Kaidan started planning for making the most damage while he still could. He couldn't reave again, he was too spent for that, but he still had some juice in him. He pushed up far enough to get a glimpse of the mechs without revealing his location. They stood fairly close to each other, just below another of the elevated walking paths that were filled with Cerberus soldiers. If he could place the grenade just right, the range of the explosion would reach almost all of them, and still have a chance at sending the mechs off balance.

With the blue glow of his biotics encasing him, Kaidan pulled the pin out of the grenade and started counting. A couple of seconds to go, he left his cover, aware that his back was an open target to multiple guns and rifles. He even felt something graze his thigh, but ignored it in favour of focusing on his throw. Combining the throw with a lift, he managed to get the grenade in place just in time.

Vorcha battle cries echoed around the hangar, few in number, but big in enthusiasm. Smoke surrounded the area of the explosion, concealing the full extent of the damage, but one of the mechs actually toppled. The second mech was confirmed to still be functional as an arm raised out of the cloud, aiming at Kaidan as it reloaded the rocket launcher.

Kaidan hadn't expected he'd even have time to hear the boom, so he was surprised when he heard not only one, but multiple booms and loud crashes. A shuttle swept in above him, firing down heavily at the mech and a squad rushed in on foot soon after. Only when a bullet hit close to his feet did Kaidan wake out of his stupor, hurrying to take cover again while simultaneously trying to identify the newly arrived back-up. When he noticed Alliance logos all over, he let out a roaring cheer that nearly matched the Vorchas'.

The Alliance dominated the situation within seconds, with more people pouring into the hangar. The battle was quickly pushed back and further into the building while a tech team was led in along the outer walls. At first Kaidan paid them no mind, his eyes identifying an officer of sufficient rank to ask for updates. As he approached the lady who was signalling out orders to the soldiers on foot, he recognized a couple of faces amongst the tech team.

Hannah still wore a helmet but she was easy to recognize by the mismatched gear, combined with body language that hadn't been schooled through years of military training and discipline. Hannah still walked the same way she'd done since Kaidan and Shepard first met her, in quick but long strides, feet doing a little stutter when changing pace or direction too fast. It was so slight a stutter that it probably wouldn't be noticeable to anyone who didn't know her, but Kaidan recognized it instantly even though they were a good hundred meters apart.

Then there was the second person. Her hair had grown long enough to be held back in a short pony-tail, aided with a couple of bobby pins, but with her helmet off, it was still unmistakably engineer Gabriella Daniels. She and Hannah walked close together, conversing while Hannah was pointing out directions of some sort.

"Major, are you hurt?" someone called Kaidan's attention and turning he came face to face with the female officer he'd first intended to approach. He was about to check whether the bullet that had grazed his thigh had done any real damage when a terrible, metallic groan echoed through the hangar, followed by a large section of the ceiling falling in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter might take a little longer to upload (this week is going to be crazy like media meltdown crazy, plus I'm picking up a hamster tomorrow, lol!), but you can catch me on my new tumblr if you want! [neolithicprophet.tumblr.com](http://neolithicprophet.tumblr.com/)  
> Thank you as always for reading, for kudos and for commenting!


	18. Chapter 18

Steve took them high up into the air, causing David both delight and an ounce of fear. The kid was clutching onto the belt that was securing him in his seat while looking out at the details of London shrinking beneath them. Shepard wondered briefly how much David actually understood of what was going on, hoping the kid didn't understand too much of this mess. It was enough for Shepard to lose a bit of his faith in humanity as it was. The irony of the situation didn't escape him either, that the Alliance that had previously kept him under strict supervision because of his involvement with Cerberus, now wished to arrest him for doing the exact opposite. Even in their own eyes it had to look weird, that someone they once suspected to be a human supremacist was now suspected to advocate violence against humans. It was so absurd, all of it.

The shuttle broke through the clouds and above them a larger ship hovered, waiting with its cargo bay gaping open at them. Steve drove them in with gentle, steady steering, setting the shuttle down as the hatch closed and the larger ship exited the atmosphere. The unfamiliar make of the ship didn't make more sense as they stepped out of the shuttle, though Shepard thought he could pick up details of both Salarian and Asari origin as Steve guided them towards the bridge. As the ship was even smaller than the original Normandy, the walk was short and explanation soon enough presented itself.

"Shepard," Liara greeted from the co-pilot seat that was surrounded by an excess of screens, indicating she had little focus on the actual trip. Next to her was a fellow Asari that Shepard had never met before, her skin slightly green in hue compared to Liara and eyes firmly on the expanse of space before them. They passed the moon and several other ships that lay in orbit, continuing out into what appeared to be the middle of nowhere, endless stretches of nothing but space dust and old battle debris not yet cleaned up or gravitated towards any of the planets.

"Thank you, Cortez, and sorry about pulling you out of your busy day like that," Liara then adressed Steve. As she spoke, she seemed to be finishing up some work on her screens. Shepard stood but a few feet away, but the text was too small to be readable from even that distance. It also passed across the screen fairly rapidly, and if Liara read it all at that pace, then it was impressive.

"That's alright," Steve replied casually to Liara's regards, truly not seeming bothered at all, as happy and pleasant as ever. Shepard was immensely glad to have his friend and his easy attitude around, to have something feel normal and relaxed in the whole mess. "Why don't I take David and Mrs Alenko to see if we can go raid your fridge for something edible?"

Liara approved that suggestion and turned her seat as Steve attempted to lead David and Mrs Alenko away, with moderate success. David was lingering, hesitant, but an assuring nod from Shepard seemed to be all the encouragement he needed. Shepard felt bad for missing his clinging a bit, for a brief moment thinking the kid didn't like him anymore, but reason quickly caught up with him and he instead felt relieved that David appeared to experience far less anxiety now.

As soon as the kid had disappeared through the door leading into the core of the ship, Shepard turned to throw questions at Liara. They ended up speaking at the same time, then awkwardly pausing right away before Liara gestured for him to start.

"Do you have any news on the teens? Anything more on Kaidan?" he asked, allowing himself a terrifying sort of hope that he didn't know until now how badly he'd restrained. It flared like physical pain in his chest and he almost felt a little sick at how overwhelming the worry was when he allowed it to surface. When Liara looked grim, turning her chair again, he felt a freezing sensation all over him, followed by waves of heat. It was like his body was already preparing for the worst.

"We can go into greater detail, but the short answer is no, I have essentially nothing," Liara explained, and Shepard held his breath for the inevitable _'but'_. He didn't have to wait long as images, various scans of a planet surface, appeared on Liara's screens. "The radio silence is still intact, back in full after that one brief gap, but I have managed to make a few scans of the surface, picking up what data I can get through their filter. They offer no personal details, but they can give an indication of what is happening on Mars at large."

They went over the scans, some of them relying on heat signatures, coming from extremely weak data as little heat made it far up enough into the atmosphere to actually pass above the reach of the jammers. Bigger settlements and battles with explosives could be read on those scans though, and comparing with maps, they'd found not only the traces of battle, but also that three entire settlements were missing - the settlement where the teens had been upon being kidnapped amongst them. Night time photos seemed to confirm that these three settlements were gone, dark blanks filling the areas that should have been dotted with lights. Furthermore there were some heat spikes that could only be explained by ongoing battle. Liara filled in that many of them were near Kaidan's last known location. It didn't really mean anything, but it did indicate a lot. And still there was nothing whatsoever hinting at the whereabouts of the teens.

"I'm sorry," Liara offered as silence stretched between them, still empathetic even though being the Shadowbroker had hardened her. "And I'm sorry I failed to prevent the attack on your house. I thought I was careful enough, lifting the protection on your house so that only media could get through, but I guess it was inevitable that others would figure out the address too. I should've been more diligent."

Maybe he ought to be angry, Shepard thought, realizing that Liara had more hands in things than he'd suspected, but it felt oddly familiar instead and honestly he was too tired for anger.

"I guess I should thank you for keeping the press away as long as you did," he said instead, trying and failing to sound salty. Liara reacted with proper embarrassment anyway, which reminded Shepard of the early days, after he'd first recieved the data from the Prothean beacon and he'd called Liara out on being a bit inappropriate in her curiosity. It made her feel refreshingly young, despite her age.

"No! I'm sorry, I..." she started, stuttering a bit as she tried to express herself. Shepard couldn't help the fond smile. "I could perhaps have involved you more in that decision. I guess I'm so used to always looking for the bigger picture these days I sometimes forget to consider personal feelings and preferences..."

Shepard agreed with her on that, but he was too thankful for her help overall to bother saying so. Silence spread again, but it was not uncomfortable. There was a pang of nostalgia, looking out over the expanse of space around them, a ship around them and only artificial gravity keeping their feet on the ground. For the moment, he allowed himself to quietly admit he'd missed this, missed space.

"What do we do now?" Liara asked instead, turning to him for guidance the way she had on the Normandy. Shepard took a deep breath and tried to remember what it was like being Commander Shepard, rather than just Shepard the retired veteran.

"Now I talk to people and hope someone listens before half the galaxy dies _again_ ," he said, his back a little straighter and his voice a little firmer. "Find me the biggest rallies there are and take me there. I don't care if they are pro or anti. I need to talk to all of them. And throw the press at me. I want every single soul in this cluster to hear me."

Liara instantly dropped back into her seat, getting to work, while the ship did a full u-turn, heading back to earth.

 

 

"It's out," Hamster said, the words almost a question as he couldn't quite believe it himself. He held the tiny thing up as if to show the world and himself that it was truly out, belatedly realizing how disgusting it was to be holding up a piece of gut. It also stung something fierce to hold onto, even to his fingers that were partially numbed from the pain by now.

"Throw it away and rinse the wound," Bray instructed, slurring quite heavily, but Hamster got it anyway. He floundered for a bit, trying to make up his mind about which way to throw the ripped bladder, ultimately tossing it out of the shuttle's open door. Beside him Bray had somehow managed to roll over to his side, the blood slowly flowing out on the floor. Hamster, being a little too happy with his unexpected success to see how anything could go bad now, interpreted the stemmed flow as meaning the wound was healing already, rather than meaning that Bray's blood pressure was dropping. For the first time truly believing there was a chance to save the Batarian, he took the last bottle of sterilized water and sprayed almost all of it into the wound, before Bray stopped him.

"Save some for your hands, kid," the Batarian said, reaching out towards some packages with gauze and bandages lying off to the side. Some of the blood had reached them and Hamster would later realize what a fucking mess the shuttle was at this stage. "Spray some medigel into the wound, then cover with a clotting cloth, then wrap it. It should hold..."

Hamster diligently did as told, though struggled to rip open the waterproof package of the clotting cloth, his wet fingers slipping on the plastic a few times before they got traction. A few minutes later, the Batarian was entirely wrapped, the wound sealed for now. Hamster sat back, laughing in amazement at his own accomplishment.

"Wash your hands," Bray said, eyes struggling not to close. Hamster did as he was told, but the joy he'd felt was starting to dislodge. He noticed Bray was awfully pale and awfully still. Every move he made was slow and small, his face blank and eyes when open didn't seem to focus on anything.

"I got the bladder out, you're okay now," Hamster said, saying it with a conviction he didn't have. Bray had to be okay, because the bladder was out and they were going back to Shepard and the others, back to Earth. Bray hadn't finished his story of how they recaptured Omega either, so there was still that to do, and they had to stop Cerberus as well. "You need to take a nap? Can't you wait with taking a nap until we're somewhere a little more pleasant? Bray?"

Something in Hamster's ramble seemed to go through, because Bray forced his eyes wide open then, searched the room and forced himself to focus on the human teen. They just looked each other in the eyes for a tense moment, Hamster holding his breath, waiting for something, then Bray made a move as if to get up.

"We need to get back," Bray said, and it was clear he was trying to get up but nothing was happening. Hamster tried not to cry, tried to be brave as he stood and hauled the Batarian to his feet. It did little good. Bray was dead weight against Hamster's side, but Hamster dragged them into the cockpit anyway. He started moving towards the pilot seat, intending to put Bray there, but as soon as Bray noticed he protested.

"I don't think I can fly right now."

Hamster swallowed. He'd played simulators at the game centre before the Reaper war and he knew in theory how to fly, only he'd never actually flown a real shuttle, let alone a shuttle of military make.

"Can you fly later?" Hamster tried, hoping although he knew it was hopeless. Bray shook his head, confirming that fearful suspicion. The copilot seat was partially occupied by a corpse and it took a feat of both balance and strength that Hamster hadn't believed himself capable off to clear the seat. Bray sunk into the seat like a bag of sand and Hamster had to strap him in or else he'd slip down onto the floor. Once that was done, Hamster accidentally took in the state of the shuttle as a whole. There was a huge puddle of blood where Bray had laid before, and also underneath the corpses that were still inside the shuttle. At the far back there was an especially large pool collecting, because of the angle the shuttle was propped at on the uneven ground.

Hamster quickly looked away and got himself seated in the pilot's seat. All strapped up, he looked at the control panel before him and instantly felt utterly stupid. There wasn't a single detail before him that made even an ounce of sense. He panicked.

"I don't know what to do," he admitted, hands hovering above the panel, but not knowing where to go. Beside him, Bray put in as much effort he could muster, managing to activate a button that set the engine humming.

"The panel centre in front of you is steering," Bray explained and finding the panel in question, Hamster found that there were a few things that looked vaguely familiar from the arcade simulator. Setting his fingers to the panel though, he activated the thrusters in the back too hard, causing the shuttle to nearly flip over forwards. While he stopped the motion in time, it was enough for all that blood to come swooshing forward around their feet and for the corpse of the dead copilot to lodge itself between their seats. Hamster very firmly did not look down. He glanced at Bray though, who gave him an encouraging mutter, before he tried a second time.

It didn't go exactly well. It was rough and wobbly as hell, but in a couple of minutes they were actually up in the air.

"Where are we going?" he asked, waiting and holding the craft in place while Bray tried to make sense of the directions. With the external cameras on they could catch clouds of smoke to their left, and Bray told him to just head straight for that. Then he didn't say much more for the rest of the ride, sagging more and more into his seat. Towards the end, Hamster steered the shuttle more on sensation than sight, crying hysterically as Bray stopped responding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hit me up at [neolithicprophet@tumblr](http://neolithicprophet.tumblr.com/) any time! Send a message or ask. I swear I don't bite!
> 
> Also, I occasionally mention my writing progress there, amongst sharing a whole load of picspamming with bioware stuff and really anything that looks sci-fi and inspiring. Will follow back from my main blog! (Unless you run a porn blog, hate blog or similar...)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so so so sorry about the massive delay on this chapter! To be fair, until I had to go on sick leave this weekend, I'd only had one day off since I last updated. My life has been absolutely bonkers lately, like I worked on an EU project in the UK in the aftermath of Brexit (like we landed in Manchester as the votes were being counted), the one activist campaign I've been running to stop the deportation of an LGBTQ youth has become three campaigns, just to mention a couple of the things going on. But now FINALLY I am able to give you a chapter (that I rewrote like 5 times) AND I am already working on chapter 20! I have missed writing so much and I have missed you guys! Hope you have all stuck around! 
> 
> Oh, and if you want to get an idea of how Hamster looks, I played around some in photoshop a while back - [here's a preview!](http://neolithicprophet.tumblr.com/post/145773142486/more-wip-on-the-bray-and-oc-drawing-freckled)
> 
> And my Mass Effect Big Bang-fic has also gone up if anyone's interested - [The Salarian Suicide](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7346308)

Once the roaring noises had passed it was absolutely dark. Kaidan registered no particularly alarming pain, but the air was hard to breathe through all the dust and he'd lost his helmet at some point. Minutes passed, or maybe it was merely seconds that felt stretched in the lack of details for his senses to pick up on. Then he could hear calls, distant and muted through layers of debris. He remained perfectly silent, trying to register words or even just familiar voices, but to no avail. The time of stillness did however allow for his eyes to adjust enough to get a rough idea of his surroundings. While there was debris that trapped his right leg, he'd been lucky. The contorted piece of metal didn't put much pressure on the leg, but it lay tight enough seal his armor in place and he was afraid that trying to dislodge it would send more debris crushing down on him. He could spot his helmet too, which had fared less well, crushed under a metal beam.

Then he saw the female officer who'd addressed him just before the ceiling fell in, and she lay disconcertingly still. Kaidan looked away, not wanting to see exactly how bad it was when he was still trapped and unable to help. Hopefully she was just knocked out and would come to in a bit. If Kaidan didn't look, he could still hope. Instead he tried to shift, to activate his omni-tool, before it struck him how in vain that would be under the current circumstances. What a terrible timing  for an incident such as this to strike when all communications were down. Unless they managed to deactivate the jammers, they had no way of tracking all the people stuck under the fallen ceiling, instead having to rely on risky old-fashioned manual search and rescue. Being stuck in the middle of the room, Kaidan accepted that he'd have to wait long before they made it as far as his location. Being in hostile area, lacking proper equipment and means of requiring said equipment, there was no saying exactly how long that was, but a full day, maybe even two wouldn't be surprising. 

Kaidan took deep calming breaths, resisting the sense of panic that crowded him. In an attempt of deflection, his thoughts turned to Shepard, now years ago laying barely alive in the dead shell of the Citadel for hours, surrounded only by death, destruction and a misguided sense of guilt. An acute sort of sadness he hadn't felt in months returned then, a grief he felt for Shepard's struggles, for all the sacrifices they'd made in the desperate hope to save even a single life from the Reapers.

In the wake of that particular surge of emotions came homesickness, Kaidan the soldier being stripped away to bare Kaidan the man as he waited. He missed home something fierce - the house, the kids, his mom, and Shepard sleeping deeply beside him.

 

Lace, Shanti and Kolyat had been instructed to stay in one of the Alliance shuttles, parked outside the huge complex that Cerberus had appropriated, and right next to the Alliance medics. Shanti was blissfully knocked out, having the luxury of her biotics wearing her out enough to catch some solid rest. Lace had slept little since this entire mess started, too alert to relax and Kolyat seemed equally awake next to her, magnanimously ignoring the dark looks that were specifically aimed at him. The CO for the troupe had insisted that a soldier remained with them to guard them, but it was clear it was not an outside threat the CO in question had worried about. _'Ignorance is a bliss'_ an old saying went, but Lace rather thought ignorance was a bloody shame. Because Lace's aunt had worked in C-Sec up until the war got her, Lace already knew of the one Drell probation worker, knew he'd taken a bad situation and turned it around to a new start in life. If the Alliance would give Kolyat but a chance, surely they'd be able to catch a glimpse of that as well. Alas, instead they acted like xenophobic asses and gave him the evil eye. If ever presented with an opportunity, Lace vowed to take her thoughts on that to someone higher up in command. Living with the two only human Specters, such opportunities were bound to be plenty.

That, however, was for later. There were other things more urgent at hand.

A few minutes ago the battle noises had hit a crescendo, before falling silent and that combined with their surly human watchdog, left Lace feeling uneasy. She knew instinctively that something wasn't right, but had no means of finding out what. Kolyat was putting up a good poker face, perhaps aided by his alien features, but Lace had been around Drells before, if long ago, and knew how to pick up a few revealing ticks. His jaw was too tense and his eyes flickered occasionally to the side, as though actively resisting to react to something.

"I need to go to the bathroom," Lace tried, unable to bare the silence and the wait any longer, turning pleading eyes on the soldier. She bounced her leg a little in attempt to project an urgency that simply did not exist. The soldier's gaze dropped down to the movement before he could stop himself and sat a little straighter while searching for words.

"You have to try to hold it in," he said, sounding only somewhat commanding, clearly not used to having children as his responsibility. Lace pressed on.

"I'll spell it out for you," she said, dead serious and not looking away. "I'll shit my pants if you don't let me go now."

Kolyat's eyes boggled a bit next to her, perhaps at her choice of words, or at something else, but the important thing was that it had the desired effect on the soldier. Quite flustered, the man got up instantly, assuring that he'd take her somewhere where she could relieve herself, but asking her to stay back until he'd checked it was safe for her to step outside. Mimicking a twitchy and restless body language, Lace conceded and turned to face Kolyat. To him she mouthed _'I'll go have a look'_ and added a discreet, but playful wink for good measure _._ Kolyat twitched a quick smile in response that disappeared just in time before the soldier reappeared in the door, giving Lace the clear to follow him.

The scene outside was... unexpected. It sent vague flashbacks to her return to London, of her and a bunch of other civilians coming back to fields of debris and open areas filled with soldiers and alien mercenaries being tended to. This was no way near in scope, but the hangar closest to them more or less looked like it had folded on itself and the medics were busy tending to various degrees of injuries, while soldiers were trying to extract their colleagues from the collapsed hangar. In the far distance, there were still sounds of battle.

"The situation is under control, girl," the soldier said, sternly, the command to not stare at it all potent between the lines. She was led around and behind all the shuttles, to the side opposite of the hangar where there was pretty much nothing but open space as far as the eye could see. A little horrified she realized, as the soldier turned her his back, she was expected to take a dump then and there, out in the open. She contemplated how best she'd fake this when she noticed something moving in the sky. Whatever the object was, it's movements were wobbly, without any obvious aim. Hadn't it been for Mars's complete lack of wildlife, Lace would've assumed it to be a bird. Instead she alerted the soldier, concerned.

The soldier switched weapons, raising a rifle with telescope aim. He didn't fire, only looked, but when he lowered the weapon again he seemed conflicted. Lace didn't have to find a way her faked bathroom situation after that, because the soldier was too occupied with whatever was approaching to pay her any further attention.

"Cerberus shuttle incoming," the soldier shouted, drawing a handful of his colleagues to his side. One of them who outranked him took the scoped rifle to get a closer look for herself.

"Is the pilot drunk?" the officer asked, even as she took a closer look. The shuttle was approaching fast now, close enough in range that even Lace with her bare eyes could see it indeed was a shuttle. The soldiers were debating whether to shoot it down or to try to board it when it's track smoothed out, fast forward and slightly descending. Had the vehicle been an old fashioned airplane, the speed and angle wouldn't have been too shabby, but for a shuttle without wheels it was bound for a rough landing.  Fortunately it wasn't heading straight at them, but off to the side where it would hopefully come to a stop before crashing into the wall of the hangar annexed to the collapsed one.

As soon as the shuttle hit ground, the officer picked three soldiers, the teens' guard amongst them, and set off towards the still sliding shuttle's trajectory. It came to a full stop roughly twenty meters away from the wall, and by then the soldiers were halfway there. The group changed their pace so that they could run with their weapons raised and aimed at the open door in the shuttle's side. Lace stood transfixed, waiting to see what would happen, but at first there was only a small trickle of smoke coming up from somewhere at the very front, rising above the Mars dust settling.

The officer arrived first, disappearing handgun first into the shuttle and seconds later all the soldiers holstered their weapons. They all stepped inside, until one of them bolted back towards the camp. Lace didn't know why, but she had a very bad feeling about that. Then she heard Shanti shouting, somewhere close to the collapsed hangar. Tearing her eyes off the crashed shuttle, she saw the older girl shimmering in blue and Kolyat holding her back with a firm hold around her waist. There was another officer, making placating hand gestures that Shanti wasn't taking well.

"I'm going in," Shanti shouted, louder than before, and Kolyat really struggled to hold her back now. Lace was about to run over and help when she caught sight of a small, red-haired figure being helped out of the crashed shuttle. 

"Hamster!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking around!! <3


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm done with one of my jobs! (The one that I absolutely hated!) So now I have a liiiittle more time again?   
> And ahahaha, I feel so self indulgent for this chapter, featuring my OCs so much. Shepard will be back and impressive in the next chapter, I swear!!  
> Anyways, enjoy the chapter and thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!! so much for sticking with me and leaving awesome comments! I love you all so friggin much, omg! I'd give you all space hamsters as thanks if I could!

There had been about five seconds of calm in the shuttle after it slid to an ultimate stop, before a flurry of activity filled the small space. As Alliance soldiers rushed in, Hamster sat struggling for breath through a full scale panic attack and the poor quality of the locally terraformed air. They tried to put a mask over his face, but he resisted, reaching out for Bray instead. Another soldier checked the Batarian then, foregoing the omni-tool that was still affected by the jammers and checked for pulse the old-fashioned way. After feeling around the wrist for half a minute, the soldier shifted Bray's undershirt, exposed through the pieces of removed armor, and felt around across the Batarian's chest.

"As good as gone," the soldier said, with a resigned shake of his head, solemnly standing back.

"As good as?" someone reacted. "You found a pulse or not?"

"I dunno, man," the first soldier said and there was some shifting around. Hamster couldn't quite follow what was happening, but he kept his gaze locked on Bray, slumped and still in the co-pilot seat, while everything around became a distant blur. Soon the only thing sharp was the overwhelming sense of fear and Hamster vaguely noted he whimpered as someone unstrapped him from his seat. He was slow to react, to understand what they were doing, but as they pulled him away from Bray he started struggling, protesting with whatever words came to mind. They tried to get him out of the shuttle and he reached back towards the cockpit, using his full body weight to counter the strength of the soldier supporting him. Hamster was and had always been gangly though and he was easily pulled out of sight from his new friend despite his efforts. Then he felt cold and his body began shaking.

He was sat down on the ground, bent forward and it was hot, too hot, or was it cold? The mask finally made it onto the lower half of his face, making it a little easier to breathe through the sobs and hiccups. Then suddenly Lace was there, sliding to her knees next to him and looking into his eyes, her own deep brown and wide with concern. Whatever had been holding him up just disappeared then and he toppled against her, resting his brow against her shoulder.

"Bray," Hamster begged again, feeling Lace examining his hands with one hand, the other crossing over his back to wrap around him. "You got to save Bray."

"There's a medic here now," Lace informed him, her hand gentle around his burns. "You've got to calm down, Simon."

Lace only dropped the nickname when she needed to communicate some sort of severity. Hamster tried to listen to her, he honestly did, but he couldn't stop seeing Bray's lifeless body behind his closed eyes, the memory of the Bray's silence roaring like thunder in his ears.

"Breathe with me. In..... and out..... in.... and out..."

Lace went on like that for a while, and Hamster tried, he really tried, but his lungs shook in protest at the attempt and there was a distracting amount of activity in the background, people running in and out of the shuttle.

"They're looking for a compatible blood donor," Lace took a moment to explain. She made a pause and the loud orders from the medic in the shuttle echoed out into the open. Hamster realized they were trying to revive Bray's heart that must've stopped beating.

What little hope Hamster had previously had was fleeing him like frightened birds on an open field. Lace started rocking him, and then there was a second person, talking to them, but Hamster couldn't make it out. Something about _"dehydrated"_ and _"this will calm you down."_ Then there was a prickle at the inside of his arm, followed by something cool spreading beneath his skin. A little later the frantic blur slowed down, taking the shape of thick fog rather than chaotic static. Through the fog and a curtain of Lace's curls, he saw rather than felt someone working on his hands. He didn't feel exactly better, but he felt sort of blank... calm. It was a little like the moment after a nightmare, where you'd woken up but was too tired to stay fully awake. He didn't fall asleep, but he hung stuck in that moment of twilight, not quite hearing the comforting platitudes that Lace was mumbling to him.

A Batarian, not Bray, appeared, walking in a strange sort of slow motion, yet a little too fast at the same time. Batarian... there was something about Batarians, something important that Hamster had forgotten, that he needed to remember. He must've been saying that out loud, because Lace responded with a _"what"_ and was pushing him up, trying to meet his eyes, for whatever good that would do. Hamster's gaze was swimming, finding it hard to grasp any one shape.

The Batarian stopped just outside the shuttle, removing pieces of gear and removing holstered weapons. A rifle. What was it about Batarian rifles that Hamster had forgotten? Then it came to him like a fog horn across the sea and the renewed stress was almost enough to work its way above the calmative dose he'd been given. His heart and breathing didn't quite race away like before, but he flailed a bit, feeling like he was drowning in the meds rather than being helped by them. He needed to focus. He needed to warn someone.

"Slow down, kid," a man spoke, to the right. Hamster kept blabbering, trying to get something through to anyone, anything, but it was so hard with the disconnect between his brain and his tongue. He bit his lip in attempt to stop, hit the heel of his hand against his forehead hoping to make his brain jumpstart back into its usual level of clarity. There was just too much going on. Someone grabbed his hand, pulled it away from him, asked him to try again.

"Shepard," he got out, mentally running over flashes of what had happened in shuttle. No! Not Bray, not Bray, not Bray dying next to him, oh god, no! No, before, much before. Focus. Lace's hand was rubbing circles at his back and it helped.

"They're going to kill Shepard," he said and someone instantly wanted to know who. He swallowed down another shaky breath and answered. "Cerberus."

 

 

Hannah part cursed, part felt thankful that she had a task at hand to focus on. She had still seen no sign of Hamster or what had become of him, and now there was the added worry of Kaidan's whereabouts. For now she tried to tell herself that no news equaled good news, and to dedicate her attention to navigating the halls of the compound. Once they'd made it around the rubble left by the ceiling collapsing in the hangar, they'd made it to parts that looked remotely similar from when the teens had made their initial escape. Hannah was however pretty certain the familiarity came from repeats in the design rather than this being a section she'd actually passed through. The part where the teens had been kept had been more obviously modified to fit Cerberus tech.

Hannah told the Alliance team this, just moments before they encountered another stray group of Cerberus soldiers. Gabby quickly pulled her into shelter, leaving the soldiers to clear the room. While they waited, Gabby drilled her on her engineering knowledge, which was limited at best. Even though Hannah's grades had been good in her tech classes, it was only basic knowledge that was too theoretic and by now too rusty to be of any help. As soon as Hannah gave any indication of understanding what Gabby was asking for however, Gabby followed up with questions if Hannah had noticed any such piece on the presumed jammer she had spotted. Gabby took all the _'I don't know'_ s with grace, but Hannah still felt desperately frustrated with herself for knowing practically nothing for sure. While she knew that the older woman had years of education and experience over her, Hannah still felt catastrophically useless under the barrage of questions. It left a heavy clench in her chest that didn't ease up until finally they made it into a room where she was positive she'd been before. It was a small thing, but there was a discarded, half eaten protein bar abandoned at a desk that had for whatever reason stuck on her memory and remained blissfully untouched. It took a few seconds, but then she got her bearings.

"Through here," she shouted, pointing excitedly and almost forgetting to let the armed soldiers go first and clear the indicated area. They continued then, one room at the time, and Hannah regained more and more confidence as each and every room held clues that fit with her memory of the place. In under fifteen minutes they reached a room that opened up at the center, allowing an antenna to reach up from one of the basement rooms.

The CO instantly instructed a couple of soldiers to trek back to their provisory base camp, to inform the rest of the location, while Gabby ran forth to the edge, looking for a way down. She got help soon enough and was carefully roped down together with a couple of Alliance colleagues. Hannah remained on ground floor, helplessly looking down as the engineers got to work under Gabby's command. Everyone who wasn't a trained engineer waited in silence for some sort of verdict. It took Gabby about twenty minutes.

"I can do this," she announced, but she sounded too grim for Hannah to rejoice quite yet. Glancing over to the CO, she noted the man seemed similarly reserved.

"It's going to take time, though," Gabby continued to explain between grunts of physical strain. Carefully approaching the edge, Hannah spotted a pair of feet sticking out of a hatch in the side of the jammer's base section. Even though Gabby was rather petite in size, it had to be a tight fit.

"Give me numbers, Daniels," the CO called down, just as something clanked and Gabby cursed. Her voice was even more strained when she answered and Hannah could see one of the other engineers approach her, obviously without a clue of how actually to be of any help.

"Hours, at least," Gabby said out loud, between quieter instructions to her colleague that didn't carry all the way up to ground floor.

"Hours?!" the CO exclaimed, obviously not satisfied and if someone asked for Hannah's honest thoughts, she would admit she hadn't expected the works to take hours either. "Are we talking two or are we talking twenty hours?"

"Somewhere there in between, I hope."

The CO cursed, removing his helmet to rub at his face that was shiny with a sheen of sweat. You could see the gears moving in his head as he surely strategized around this unexpected circumstance, but not finding any helpful conclusion.

"Anything we can do to help?" he called, eliciting an irritated sound from below.

"Let me work in peace for one," Gabby snapped, and Hannah winced on behalf of the CO. "Other than that, more engineers familiar with Cerberus tech, or some blueprints or a map over all the jammers and amplifiers. Knowing Cerberus, you won't find the last two anywhere on the surface of this planet though, so just shut up and let me work."

The CO didn't even dignify that with an answer, simply called a couple of the soldiers to the side, giving instructions that were too quiet for Hannah to hear. Then she was waved over and quietly asked if she'd seen any terminals or science stations. Hannah was about to tell them that there were multiple terminals around, most of them Alliance make and old, and that maybe it would be just as futile as Gabby had indicated, when they got company.

The CO pulled his gun and had it ready to fire as a sole soldier stumbled into the room, looking quite frantic through the visor of his helmet. All raised weapons lowered instantly, taking note of the Alliance gear if not the familiar face.

"We need the jammers down now," the poor man said, panting. "We need to send urgent updates to Earth."

There was a short, rushed explanation of new, supposedly reliable intel of Cerberus plans to assassinate Commander Shepard. For Hannah, that was the last straw. The one person she'd thought surely safe was now a prime target of a terrorist group. She marched towards the edge of the floor, ready to jump down and kick at the jammer if it had even the slightest chance of helping in shutting it down. The CO seemed to be of similar destructive mind, extracting a heavy duty grenade from a holster in his belt.

"New orders. Stand back, Daniels," he commanded and while Gabby popped out of the hatch, she did not back away. Instead she spread her arms out as if shielding the jammer.

"You've got to let me do this right," she shouted back, frustrated and with a slight tremble to her otherwise surprisingly powerful voice. "I know this tech enough to know that blowing up this jammer will do practically nothing. You won't get more than static through, and you will have blown our one chance to locate and shut the other jammers down. We have no idea when next we will be able to stumble across one of the others. There are probable at least twenty of them and well over a hundred concealed amplifiers to cover a surface as large as the whole planet. You'll need to destroy at least a quarter of all the jammers to get as much as a written message through."

There was a standstill that followed Gabby's rant where Gabby remained stubborn in position, while most of her engineer colleagues kept a distance, and the CO just held the grenade in a firm, steady grip. When the grenade finally was replaced into its pack, Gabby nearly doubled over in relief.

"Can't we send a shuttle up?" Hannah asked in the wake of all that tension, not expecting it to be that easy. When the CO answered, she truly hated to be right.

"Alliance got Mars on lockdown for another... 39 hours, unless we get the jammers down," he explained. "Anything that comes up through the atmosphere gets shot down, even Alliance vehicles. No one wanted to repeat the mistake of not taking a threat seriously, not after the Reapers."

To down below the CO shouted, "Keep working, Gabby."

Hannah dropped into a crouch and tried to not despair.


End file.
